Helsinki - 'Oujee'

Helsinki (Finland)

02 AUG - 04 AUG

Big love for Helsinki

So ladies, if a nice spritely Finnish man walks up to you one day and whispers the words, 'Miltee se tuntus viela joskas muata meijan sukuhauvass', don't look at him like his downed one to many shots of Findlandia! Get out your Google translators and relish the opportunity to discover what exactly that interpretations mean. I can say this however, the close equivalent is something about - 'How would you feel about lying in the same family grave someday'. It's only then, when you truly understand the core of what the man is saying that you can reply with that kind and underderstanding Australian response that we're reknowed for, 'Piss off you moron!'...but, just in case you need to know a little more, apparently this particular linguistic style is particular to the Savo of Eastern Finland. They also have a manner of describing things or asking things in a very confusing but descriptive manner, so this young buck, the man of your Finnish dreams, has apparently just proposed to you and would like for you to be his wife - a little better than an Aussie, ' 'carn, do you wanna or what?'. I know, it's just a heads up but you never know your luck in a big city, or a small Eastern Finnish town, apparently.

My small love for Helsinki

Flying the 2.5 hours from Paris and landing at Helsinki's Vantaa airport, all I could see around me for miles were tall wooded pine forests, I guess not surprising since three quarters of the land surface of Finland is apparently covered by forest. What's more, the streets were kind of deserted and you could only really assume from that that the 5.2 million Finns were either EasyJet paranoid and hiding in the forests or perhaps in one of their 2 million sauna's,seriously, what's the caper with the 'getting steamed' compulsion? That's the equivalent of one sauna to every nuclear Finnish family - WHY FINLAND? WHY????? What's with that!!?

Enough of the Finnish weirdness for a moment and totally forgetting the length of your arm words with double, triple or quadruple vowels all in a row that make you sound like you're choking on a sack of marbles if you dare pronounce words such as 'stop', 'help', 'cat', or dog. A quick history lesson on where these little Swedish retarded cousins came from, and just before I do, isn't it funny how the retarded cousins of big brother countries are always fiesty and a little competitive, just like the Finns with the Swedes, or with Canadians and the Americans, but the big brothers are always kind of patting them on the head saying 'there, there', and then wiping the floor with their pithy exploits. Anyway, that's a totally different story.

So, how this place happened. The first crusade to Finland was led by the Swedish King Eric IX in 1155, and for the next 650 years, Finland was part of Sweden. Then in 1809 Sweden lost Finland to Russia, in turn, Finland became a Grand Duchy of the Russian Empire until 1917 when they gained their Independence. As for its capital, Helsinki, it was founded by King Gustav of Sweden in 1550 and was done so to become a trading post and southern competitor to Tallinn, the capital of Estonia. These days there's 500,000 Finns living in Helsinki with 1.2 million estimated to be living in the greater metropolitan area.

Facade at the central railway - they kind of look serious, kind of stoic, kind of pansy like also

Now, WHY THE HELL AM I HERE??

I remember dad telling me in repeated stories that my aunty's first husband was 'special', much in the same way that Swedes look upon Finns. During the 1952 Olympics in Helsinki this guy apparently was dismayed by the daily newspaper headlines, 'Helsinki ...blah blah', 'Blah, blah...Helsinki', until one day he commented to a group of people, 'Wow, that Helsinki must be good, I see his name in the paper everyday, he's winning everything'.Ah yes, don't we all love the exploits of the 'special' people amongst us. Never the less, his infamous words resonated down the decades and when I was looking for an oddball place to go for a little while, well, Helsinki fit the bill.

My first few days in this town have been more than enjoyeable. First of all my digs. I'm currently located on Suomenlinna island, a 15 min ferry ride from the main market square. This place is actually a series of six linked islands on which a 200 year old fortress now stands. No longer in military use, this place is UNESCO heritage listed, (lucky, because I was wanted to rip the place up YO!), and is an interesting place to reside for a few days, especially considering that Helsinki's finest brewery is literally across the road from the room that I'm in, or a 2 minute S-L-O-W walk from the front door.

Catching the ferry to Suomenlinna island - my home for a few days - brewery at my front door

Helsinki from the Suomenlinna ferry

As for Helsinki itself, well it's quaint, it's ordered, it's very nordic, meaning that it's conservative but in various places you see that warped Nordic tendency for bad humour or the need for them to break out of their conservative image. It's not that French style breakout, when the French do it it's big and bold, and somehow makes sense, when the Finns do it, it's just odd (see Lordi, winners of the Eurovision song contest a few years back, that'll make my point nicely). Travelling around the city however is a breeze, public transport is reliable, ordered and always on time. A daily pass is 3.8 Euros and will allow you to travel on any line, any mode of transport, for as long as you require for the day. This allowed me to do a little Helsinki exploration of my own and get up to the Olympic stadium and see the place where the world came to play in 1952. It also allowed me to take a lift up to the 11 storey tower that was purposely built for the Olympics and have a birdseye view of this city, and aesthetically, you would have to say that it's a beautiful place. Relatively small, it's open to the Baltic sea and is either surrounded by water from the sea or by one of the 180,000 lakes that cover the land, well that part that isn't covered by forest.

Capital of the sporting world for two weeks in 1952

Olympic Tower

Stadium getting ready for the U2 gig, oh yeah, Athens, you're not that far away now!

View of Helsinki from the Olympic tower

Silja line, Tallinn or Stockholm or St Petersburg bound

Lakes and islands and lakes - Welcome to Finland

Good 'ole Nordic style, neat and ordered

Streetscape - Helsinki

I also took in a European League Champions match between the hometown champs, HJK Helsinki and the team that my dad followed as a kid, FC Partizan of Belgrade. Not much of a game really, two decent goals but the Serbian side had already spanked the Finns in Belgrade 3-0 and were apparently treating them in the same fashion that Swedes do, although without that streak of compassion. Still, a draw at home for the Finns was an ok resulted and the small crowd in the Finnair stadium wasn't too disappointed.

UCL match - hometown team vs my defacto hometown...and a team from there

Game action - HJK Helsinki vs. FK Partizan

..and don't these guys know how to name a bar ! Welcome home!

As for the next few days, will be in Helsinki until the 7th of August and then jumping a boat down to Tallinn in Estonia, as for after that? Your guess is as good as mine :)

I love this shot - it's taken just before midnight, the sun will just not drop!

...Oh, and by the way, I'm starting up a 'Guestbook Photo bomb series' were the object of my fury will be my ex partner in crime, now Sydney resident once more, Janelle Jordan. JJ, this first one in a list of many comes to you from the Helsinki City Museum...enjoy ;)

You still {heart} Paris JJ, no matter where you go :)

Paris - 'Hey, I can see the tower that Gustav built'

Paris (France)
29 JUL - 02 AUG

The day before JJ and I had been walking through an amusment park in the gardens out the front of the Louvre, I've got the Tulleries in my head but who can be certain. I remembered that a couple of years ago this place had one of those capsule bungy contraptions that shot you into the stratoshphere at about the same speed that your breakfast would try and escape via your esophagus. After checking it out JJ and I vowed to join the space race the very next day, albeit after a more sedate stroll through the Louvre.

Museum hunting, strolling or wondering may not be the thing that some people want to achieve from a holiday. For some reason I tend to be a little more active when I'm away although one day I'd like to swap those tendencies for many a mind blotting cocktail, a nice beach and a sunset vista. That time is not now however. With that said, museum's aren't really what you could call strenuous activity, not unless that musuem is the Louvre and you're fighting your way through the crowd to spot the Mona Lisa, or you're walking the miles of corridors to try and view the 30,000+ pieces on display, or you're navigating the stairs between floors ( those darstedly stairs again!). This place is immense and if you're in there just for a day then you need a battle plan. This is not the way we went about things.

Angel of Samothrace - Louvre

The only plan of attack that JJ and I carried into battle was to hit the classics or the 'must sees' as early as possible. This meant the Mona Lisa was first on our agenda. Now, just like the other stupid stereotypes of Paris there are a few that are run by those who have seen the Mona Lisa or at least have pretended to. Being a little cynical or sceptical in my old age I've got the feeling that the criticisms are put out there just to keep the crowds away, I'm sure you've heard them, the painting is unimpressive, it's too small, it's only average - WRONG - on all counts...but really, if you want to believe what you hear then don't go, I could deal with not having to dodge the other happy snappy tourists that are just like me. The painting is amazing and her eyes engaging enough to make you really believe that they're following you around!

That painting by Micky D

My own Louvre triptych

Venus de Milo - looking relaxed

Showing a little perspective

Ofcourse there are a number of other critical pieces, the Venus de Milo, any of the classics, the Angel of Samothrace, etc. Too much to see in just one day and enough to have you saturated by so many wonderful works that all you can do to recover is accept the happy hour offering that Paris so graciously serves up between 4pm & 10pm. Did someone say whiskey sours?

The Louvre - from the Louvre

It was with some bravado and a touch of alcohol inspiration that we boarded the bungy rocket ball bound for 50+ mtrs off the ground, getting you to 6g in under three seconds (apparently). The launch took us skyward in an instant but before we knew it we were inverted and bouncing around the Paris skyline like six year olds on pogo sticks, not really knowing what the hell was happening but laughing all the way. Never the less we did manage to catch a great view of Paris with JJ picking out the Eiffel tower with the call, 'Hey, look at the tower that Gustav built!' - for some reason it was absolutely hilarious for the occassion.

With the powers of Gustav in our mind we headed for the tower and tackled the first two floors ironman style, getting us to about 150mtrs under our own steam. The rest of the way was elevator powered, all the way up to the 324mtr mark where good 'ole Gustav had himself a quaint little office to welcome guests such as Thomas Eddison. Not a bad way to spend a day, commanding views of Paris and the ultimate trump card in a game of one upsmanship. 'So, where do you work Gustav?'...'Oh, you know that little tower by the Seine, yes that's my design, I practically built it - my office is at the top of the tower'...'Aha - well I'm a butcher...so, what's your favourite cut of meat?'.

Will power - climb those stairs of Gustav!

The Seine from the top of the tower

The Seine from the top of the tower

At the top!

Champ de Mars from the top of the tower

Ahh..and again

The sunset series - I think JJ nailed this shot! (I hate you ;)

The sunset series

 The sunset series - over La Defense

 The sunset series - over La Defense

30 JUL - 15 yrs on and the Royale with cheese is still on the menu

Taking another set of stairs below the streets of Paris this time we went all subterranean to check out the catacombs. The location of the site is in the ....area, in the 14th arrondissement, and was established over 220 years ago after the 'original' cemetry of Paris in the Marais area was dug up and all remains exhumed for sanitary reasons.

This place is insane! After I overcame a good 30 second dose of claustraphobia we wondered around under these streets for what felt like hours. It's a little surreal to imagine that when you're walking on modern day Parisieene streets that some 20mtrs below your feet are the remains of old time Parisieenes that were around nearly 300yrs ago, some of whom you could be directly descended from. Still, the skulls and bones are neatly stacked, in almost an artistic fashion, which makes you think that somewhere in this city there's a man whose speciality or artistic quality is this...perhaps he could challenge Gustav on a game of one upsmanship insanity.

Hey bro! In the catacombs

Morbid artistry?

Having our fill of bones in very much the same manner that Jenna Jameson does in a long day on set we spotted a quaint roadside establishment for the now 4pm ritual. Pina colada's delivered, and again, and once more, we rallied to make sense of the situation but by the time our senses caught up we had already left the building and were in a macca's enquiring about the existenc of a Royal with cheese and whether beer could actually be purchased over the counter - 'YES' on both counts.

The Royale's with cheese and beer - it happened!

How did they let me into Maccas ?

Turning for home and having to battle our way via foggy minds, logistical malfunction and train stair carnage, (sorry JJ, just had to add to you came a gutsa - BIG TIME), we managed to turn up at Yono's just after nine for a final happy hour shout of whiskey sours! Like the true drinking professionals that we are, can spot a Parisienne happy hour from a mile away.

31 JUL - 01 AUG - All things come to an end, even the good ones

Our last couple of days in Paris were slower and more relaxed than the previous ones. We checked out Notre Dam on one of those and spent the other in the Pompidou viewing exhibits on display in the Museum of Contemporary Art - please also see (The Museum of What the F**$ is that!?). Some of that stuff is just plain warped!

The gargoyles of Notre Dame

The gargoyles of Notre Dame

...and this unfortunately is where this particular segment of 'A Year Full of Saturdays' ends. Travelling around with JJ for the last month was a riot, we had a great time everywhere we went and strangely the time went both quickly and slowly all at once. So to JJ I say a 'Big Thankyou' Moroccan style and  I hope to see you on the last leg home in Brazil. For now I'm off the Helsinki, the start of a little Baltic escapade........>>>here we go>>>

PHOTO BOMBED AGAIN!!!!!!!! OH YEAH !!!

Paris - 'Aww yeah, it's alright...'

Paris (France)

25 JUL - 28 JUL

So what does Paris really have? OK, so it has that tower that Gustav put up, and it has an Arc that was dedicated to war heroes so that its granduer would befit the epic victories of battle...and it has the Notre Dame, the Champs Elysees, Sacre Coeur, the butte of Montmarte, the Seine, the Louvre, the catacombs, Royale's with cheese, beer in McDonalds, croissants, brioche et al. Yes, it has all of that, all of that is part of the Paris that most people know and all of it is awesome. They're the elements that either bring you here or the ones that keep you coming back, and that's more than a valid notion.

Going with the classics from the get go - Gustav´s tower - Paris

Arc de Triomphe

Notre Dame

Basilica de Sacre Coeur

Champs Elysees

Bridges of the Seine

Royale's with cheese & beer - Pulp Fiction was not 'a foolin''

But...what Paris also has is happy hour! Although the happy hour in Paris magically turns into a plethora of hours at various establishments that can kick off anywhere from 4pm and have you comfortably in absolute bliss until 10:30pm. It's virtually a working day of happy hours, everyday of the week! I mean, why drink at any other time of day? Is there really a need to do so unless you absolutely require to partake in that fabulous Parisienne tradition of having a red or two with lunch. If you time it just right, the combination of lunch and a couple of reds will easily get you over the line for 'Happy Hours'...and the ways these guys do it, it turns into 'Happy Days'!

What else is there? I have the feeling that when the members of Cirque de soleil are on break that somehow they all turn up on the streets Paris busking.  Each twist and turn on a Parisienne streets has a new and exciting busker, ready to take away your Euro, but hey, you're more than happy to pay them for their work. One day when JJ  and I were up the butte of Montmarte, (yes, it sounds as bad as it reads), checking out Sacre Coeur and the amazing view over Paris, we caught Iya Traore, a footballer/freestyler, who was simply amazing. His musical backing tracks left a lot to be desired, I mean if I was his manager I'd beat him around the head a few times to smarten him up, (Celine Dion? C'mon man!), but really, this guy is insanely talented. Not only does he have skills whilst on terra firma but the kid can climb up a lamp post and keep the ball at his feet or spinning on a pen sitting comfortably in his mouth, what a headspin!?

Iya Traore - freestyling at Sacre Coeur- but does he have hacky sack skills?

Well, he might have hacky skills - the record is 56 Iya - what's your graph like?

Check out Iya's skills via this YouTube clip [Skills to pay the bills]

Another thing to add. Now this is my second trip to Paris and thus far I have not encountered the French 'arrogance' that Parisieene's are apparently so well known for. Being the dumb English speaker that I am, I conversed with each and every Parisienne in the only language that I'm truly comfortable with. Not only was everyone courteous and helpful but they did it with a smile on their face, well, except for the guy at the coffee shop downstairs - and whilst the dude didn't smile there wasn't really a trace of arrogance that I could locate on my 'douche dar'. I also have JJ to back me on that call, and whilst JJ knows a couple of arrogant French outcasts at home, there were none to be found in this sojourn.

And finally, as for the place being covered with dog shit? No ...As for it smelling like urine? Well, maybe a little, but I've walked many places in Sydney and have been in many a car park where it smells like half the freakin population had urinated in a stairwell the night before. So that stereotype doesn't seem to hold much water in the fact that it's no different to any other major city in the western world.

Now for Paris and what we did...where to begin, where to begin??

Our first night was about getting out and seeing the Eiffel tower light up. As JJ had read somewhere, the tower lights up for 5 minutes every hour and as a 'Welcome to Paris' badge, it's the equivalent to walking across the Harbour bridge or taking photos of the Opera House. For some reason the main train line to Champs de Mars - Eiffel was closed down and JJ put it to me that we should walk our way there. Now, for people  who geographically know Paris will also know how much of a walk JJ suggested when I mention where we were located. Our little 18m2 appartment was on Rue de Tournelles, in the Marais district  (4th arrondissement). We had already walked from there down to the Seine, acrose the Ile de la Cite where Notre Dam is located and were now eyeing off the Latin Quarter when the suggestion came about. My response was something akin to what I gave JJ when she wanted to walk to Sagrada Familia in Barcelona when we were standing down by the port, 'You what now!?'. Never the less, we went for it, and something close to 1.5 - 2 hrs later we were sitting on the lawns of the Champ de Mars with other Aussies, Germans, Dutch and Spanish tourists, with Indian touts walking around trying to sell water, beer and whatever else they had thought of. Still, the tower is mighty impressive and when it sparks up on the hour, you can only sit back and marvel at the 324mtrs of structure that Gustav and his crew built for the world fair back in the 1889.

It's that tower again

Twinkle..and go now!

26 JUL - Fist pump to triumph

Waking up anywhere close to 10am in Paris was an early mark for us. Seriously though, why feel the need to be compelled to do anything when you're on holidays, especially get out of bed, at any time? When we did finally muster the will to beat the magnetism of the matress we decided to check off another major destination from our Parisienne checklist. So, you may have heard of the place, it kind of pales in comparison to the Eiffel tower but yeah, 'it's alright also', the Arc de Triomphe! Just a smallish structure commissioned by Napolean back in 1806 to welcome home his troops in granduer.

Turning right - Arc de Triomphe 

Up close and personal

Climbing up its 234 stairs, you have a tendency of getting a little dizzy from  wicked right hand turn that gets elevated up from street level to the top of the arch. Not like we hadn't done our fair share of step climbing over the past few weeks either, there was the four floors in our Barcelona apartment, the floors in Marrakech, the floors in Fes, the floors in Chefchouen, the trek up the Atlas to get ourselves the only alcohol available in a dry medina. If ever there was a recurring theme for a holiday, well the steps would pretty much win the day...but with that said, what you claim on your own you enjoy a lot more and  tend to savour the sweetness of victory just a little more, well, so mountaineers and snowboarders would have you believe in any case. So it was that at the top of the Arc de Triomphe we took in a fantastic view of Paris and conquered another famous hometown landmark, one that stands in the midst of so many.

27 JUL - Taking it up the butte

The area of Montmarte use to be known as the last town of Paris, well that was until such time that it was subsumed in the immensity of the French capital. Standing atop of the butte of Montmatre is the Basillica of Sacre Coeur, built somewhere in the 1880's, it has commanding views over the city and is impressive in its stature and presence. Making a fabulously early start to the Parisieene day, somewhere about 12 from my guesses, we jumped a train to Abyesees station and walked up the main stairways of the butte unitl we were well and truly up it. Sometimes stairs can take you to weird and wonderful places hey.

Iya - just hanging around

The streets surrounding Sacre Couer, the area of Montmarte, is kind of a bohemian/artistic centre. Well, more so in the earlier part of last century than it is these days. Ofcourse, like most drawcards it's touristy but to me it still holds that quaint charm that equivalent places like it still hold, like Leura in the Blue Mountains or Montville on the outskirts of Sunshine Coast. We cruised around for a while, checked out Sacre Coeurr and then witnessed a freakish kind of artistry that only a Ghanain with a soccer ball and  too much time on his hands could deliver. Iyra Toare, football freestyle extroardinairre, not only put the hacky sack skills of McPhisto and Elisher to shame (What now!?), but made we want to renounce my religion and take up the religion of freestyling, (what am I again?). This guy was a freak, actually he was more than that, he was a freak in freak's clothing, he was freakish squared. The stuff that he was pulling off I'd only ever seen on YouTube and even then I thought the vids were doctored. Not so with Iyra the magician, hand stands, heels, lamp posts, it was all in his repertoire. I've never seen a busker be asked for autographs before but I think that about 20+ people asked him to sign bits of paper during the time that we watched him display his skills.

Bar shots - the intensity of those eyes, the purpose - all to land a strawer into a glass from 20cms

JJ - looking all sweet and innocent...lol...she'd just ventured down from the butte, c'mon now!

Making our way down from the butte and guessing our way, walking style, back to the Pompidou, we got within two blocks of our destination when we were stopped in our tracks by the call of happy hour and the NEED to down 5euro cocktails for the sake of happiness. Who are we to miss that type of opportunity? I mean where can you get decent $8 AUD cocktails at home for 5-6 hrs a day? ...and where can you feel compelled to take ridiculous black and white photos of you progressively getting hammered as your happiness increases exponetially? Nowhere I say! Nowhere but in the town that is always extremely gay!  That my dear friends is the way we remained, well, with the aid of some Euro fried chicken and samurai sauce, that's the way we remained for out remaining waking hours...oh, and perhaps with the assistance with a little more vodka at home...that's the way we remained (I think?). All that I know is Jeff Buckley put us to sleep on this night, Hallelujah.

28 JUL - Cruising

We cruised on the Seine for most of the day. Jumping a 'hop on/hop off' Seine shuttle which took us around to the main ports of call such as Notre Dam, the Tuilleries, the Louvre and the Eiffel tower. JJ and I made our way from our morning port of call near Notre Dam to the stop of the Louvre crossing through the gardens and landing at the fabled L'Orangerie museum. JJ had been using her powers off voodoo for the past few days to  convince me to get us there, and finally we had made it in order to see the mind blowing works of French Impressionist Claude Monet and his world reknowned Water Lilly painting series....and yeah, 'it was ok!!?'...lol....In actual fact it was fantastic, and I was more than just a little surprised by their sheer size. They were literally oval rooms that held these paintings and each  painting curbed a quarter of the way around. To me it's times such as these that you wish you knew a little more about the mastery of such artistic concepts and a little less about who scored the winning goal in the last world cup, (Iniesta of Spain by the way, 115th minute, golden strike against the Dutch chokers).

How good is Senor Claude!

Water Lilly series by Claude Monet

Cruising on the Seine for the remaining part of the afternoon our journey took us down by the Eiffel tower and then looped back to our initial stop, Notre Dam. Slowly we made our way back into the Marais district and back onto the Rue Temple de Ville for happy hour whiskey sours at Yono's. This was to be the 'apertif' of sorts, the drinks that would inspire us to gastronomical glory at restaurant Robert and Louise. I prefer it to mention it by it's old name, Chez Robert and Louise, it just sounds cooler. Now this is a place that I was introduced to about 3 yrs ago via the journeys in culinary delights of Anthony Bourdain and his 'No Reservations' show. Having had dinner there a couple of times before I was bouncing around for most of the afternoon in anticipation and had promised Janelle a fantastic evening, 'no reservations', literally.

By the time we had made the house of Robert and Louise we were already buzzing. What you immediately notice about this place is that it's intimate, and then you notice the open fire at the back of the restaurant that had a grill on top of it and realise that this is where you food prep will take place - alright, let the good times roll! We kick off hard, being led out by a Serbian carnivore and assisted by a recovering vegetarian we select the blood sausage, snails and potted pork to start things off. To watch JJ not only contemplate eating these items but actually enjoying them, nah, devouring them, brought a tear to my eye. The blood sausage was exquisite, the potted pork superb and the snails surprisingly good, although I think the later was JJ's favourite.

That's our meal on the go - Chez Robert & Louise - Marais - Paris

Then we hit the main, beef rib for two that had been made right in front of us to the Janelle Jordan ordered style of 'medium rare'...'oh no she didn't'? This damn thing was beautiful, blackened and slightly crisp on the outside, pink to red with a little blood in the middle. This is the type of food that you dream of, it's the answer to the question  of 'Hey, if you were having a last meal, what would you have?' - my friends it would be this...the beef rib from Robbie and Louise's place!! With the glasses of Bordeaux accompanying the meat perfectly it was almost a shame that our stomachs were calling it quits on our behalf, but even the best things come to an end.

It tasted 10 times better than it looks here!

More than satisfied by what both of us ranked as one of the best meals we had had in our own respective histories we criss crossed the streets of the Marais, not intentionally, we were just a little plastered by this stage. Making it home and raiding the freezer for the duty free vodka we purchased in Tanger, we drank our way into the morningonce again. Paris, you just don't have a 'fail' button now do you!? I like that about you!

JJ and I getting our rockstar on

Rockstar hammered - vanquished to the back bars of Paris - never to pull a crowd again!