Phnom Penh - The Heart of Darkness...with a cloudy mind

The Killing Fields

Through the haze and mental distortion that 20 or so drinks can make, the journey out onto the streets of Phnom Penh was one that I wanted to enjoy more than I did at that point. It was too bright, I was feeling extremely pasty and none too inspired but that was by my own doing, who was I to complain ?

Tuk Tuk access is pretty damn easy anywhere in Vietnam and Cambodia, take 10 steps and inevitably you'll have someone asking whether you need a tuk tuk, a joint, 'boom boom', a 'gun' (literally) and really, anything else you can imagine. My request was fairly simple, 'to the killing fields my fine fellow' - well, it wasn't all that chirpy, more of a solemn request. As a side point, one thing you'll notice in Cambodia, right off the bat is that there aren't too many 'older' people around. I'm talking people older than 40-50, and with that, when I say 'not too many', I really mean that you don't notice them at all. I've read a few books where the demographic specifics have quotes that somewhere near 50% of the Cambodian population is under 15yrs of age ! Along with that, estimates places the number of people that died during Pol Pot's torturous reign at anywhere between 1.5-2 million (bloody hell !)

The high school that became the notorious Tuol Sleng (S-21) prison - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

Some of the poor victims of the Khmer Rouge, taken during their four year reign of terror (1975-79).

Tuol Sleng (S-21) prison - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

 
So, armed with these facts I travelled the 15kms out of Phnom Penh, and tried to imagine what it may have been like for the 20,000 people that travelled the same route from Tuol Seng prison to their final, albeit extremely unforunate, resting place. Of course, the concept of feeling or really imagining the scenario is pointless. I can only put it down in words in order to paint some type of picture of the horror that these people experienced. So, more often than not, early in the morning, prisoners were taken from their holding cells, blindfolded, perhaps chained and placed into the back of a truck for the journey. Many had already been tortured extensively, some for days. At the end of that road however, each and everyone met their death. Mostly clubbed to death, the occasional person shot and all the while on the loudspeakers, music blaring so as to cover the noise made by those in their final moments of anguish. To imagine something so horrific is beyond my comprehension and I guess in some strange way, that's the aspect that fascinates me. Due to the fact that it doesn't make sense, that I can't understand what type of collective hysteria triggers people to act in such a dark and sinister way, is the reason why I need to find out more and is the reason why, this place has always been something I had wanted to see and experience.

The morbid 'Security regulations' of Tuol Sleng

Tuol Sleng (S-21) prison - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

There's a tower memorial that stands in the middle of the Killing Fields, filled with the skulls of the poor unfortunate souls that were taken maliciously and annoymously in this corner of the world. It stands starkly against the quite unextraordinary landscape of the area. Some people may think that it's quite heinous and disrespectful to display the skulls of the deceased in such a manner but I thought the memorial to be quite appropriate. Standing almost defiantly as a sign to all those that see it of what must never ever happen again not just in this place but anywhere else on the globe. It's almost as if the people that died here have voices and they're screaming their message in the only way that they'e able.

Tower memorial - Killing Fields - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

Killing Fields - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

Killing Fields - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

Killing Fields - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

It's tough to comprehend the abhorrant recklessnes and the total disregard that the Khmer Rouge had for the pain and suffering they inflicted. It also makes you wonder as to how random it was that these people,  being born in this country and out of this extrordinary circumstances should meet their final fate in this fashion, in this hell of a place. As I said, completely random and completely fucked!

Killing Fields - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

Killing Fields - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

Looking around this area it's hard to put your headspace into a zone of imagination that could give you an understanding of what may have been, or what may have happened in this space. Maybe that's a good thing. It's not a large area, maybe 100 metres wide, and these days people of all nations pass through it transiently, stopping, taking photos and wondering, just like I was doing on this day. I don't know, part of me expected to feel something specific or perhaps peculiar when I was here but that wasn't the case. I didn't feel anything and to tell you the truth, a very large part of me feels sorry for that.

Phnom Penh - Onto Angkor

Phnom Penh (Cambodia) to Siem Reap (Cambodia)

So this morning I left Jase at the Hotel Indochine on the banks of the Tonle Sap and  took myself a tuk tuk down the street in order to get myself onto a ferry in anticipation of 5hr+ journey down the river and across Tonle Sap lake (the largest freshwater lake in South East Asia). So, there I was at just before 7:00am, buying myself a baguette, some cheese and bottle of water in preparation for what I anticipated might actually be a boring journey. Amazingly enough though it was far from that.

Just after 7am we headed out from Phnom Penh, the ferry managing to pick up a fair bit of speed, with both  entry doors remaining open, and surprisingly, that's the way they stayed. So eyeing off the obvious opportunity that was presented, out we all got, and when I say 'all' I mean the westerners on this ride, and headed down the sides of the ferry for a better vantage point. Now the amusing thing with moving around this ferry was that the approach to doing so meant walking around the periphery of the vessel on perhaps a half metre walkway with only the smallest of hand rails to act as your saviour between staying on board the ferry (travelling at a rate of knots mind you)  and an inglorious fall into the Tonle Sap. I can only imagine as to how many times that event has actually occurred.

The further ground we put between us and Phnom Penh however, the more interesting and diverse the landscape became, and perhaps, the more 'typical' the scenery became. This is what I imagined Cambodia to be, flat green plains used for farming, small basic housing with thatched roofs, families by the river either fishing, doing their washing or conducting their day to day business. The surreal thing about blasting down the river and virtually through someones backyard is that you still feel strangely detached. Almost like you're in a zoo, observing people from behind a 'protective barrier'. That perhaps sounds strange but considering the ferry was filled with tourists it really felt like a ride in a theme park. I guess sometimes you find that the real problem of travelling without allowing yourself  the necessary time to immerse yourself in a culture is placing yourself by default into what I've termed the 'Disney syndrome'. Having the experience but not understanding it for what the actual reality that it holds.

In any case, I don't have enough time to finish this now, will come back to it in a jiffy.

Phnom Penh - The Heart of Darkness

Phnom Penh...via the head of inebriation

I think the last time I left this ed Jase and I were vowing to have an early night and kick off our day in Phom Penh with reckless abandon, willing to cast all our misconceived preconception to the wind and drink in the heart of the land that was ....is Cambodia (huh......WTF Henry) !! Yup, thought exactly the same thing. Anyway, the deal was an early night, that was the unwritten rule but, as many a sorry soul will tell you, the fateful cry of 'lets go for one' often turns into the deadly aftermath of 'what the hell happened', and so, as I casually perused the books on offer by a street vendor a friendly voice said to me, 'hey jebem te, what are you doing here ?'. The rest as they say is history, in someone else's mind at least.

Anyone seen my elephant? Last known location, walking along the Mekong - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

Royal Palace - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

It was all so harmless, a nice ale, Cambodia's finest (Angkor) and also the bastardised sibling (Anchor), a cocktail or three, a German laughing solo at only something he could understand, some pleasant conversation with the wait staff and then, somewhat merrily, the slow...then speedly decline into drunken stupidity. Once Jase and I were hitting JW Green's and at the point that the bar owner, (Andy, I think his name was), very graciously allowed us to finish the bottle with our last drinks....well....disaster beckoned. I'm not sure who made the call, whether it was Andy or his sidekick but the decision was made that we'd be making a b-line to a 'girlie type' bar only a few blocks away. I must admit, I tried to be reasonable and call it a night. I even left our three champions at their posts and started walking the couple of blocks to our hotel, but, like the true, flawed boy that I am, once the crew drove past, voices screaming, the car 'a honking', I was in for the ride.

Phnom Penh streetscape

Mekong river - Phnom Penh - Cambodia

At this junction, let me address a couple of points for a few parties. 1) A 'girlie' bar is not a strip joint 2) It is a place where you can get 'boom boom' 3) Jase did at no point touch, associate or do anything that would not have been done in any other bar on any other day of the week in Sydney 4) I did not engage in any activity that would be classed as inappropriate in any other bar in Sydney. Point of fact - we needed a place to drink, Andy was the man about town and he knew the place that was open....and so we began.

I don't know the deal but every time Andy clocked the gong at the bar it was drinks on him. On reflection it seemed like the whole evening was a 'gong gone wild' and I can't remember what I was having, who was passing it to me and if I requested any of it. Never the less, I laughed all the way to the bar and back. It ended up being a great night, the only point of concern was the projected kick off time for the next day which in fact was to be my only full day in Phom Penh, but alas, I digress. I recall at some point during the evening comprehending that I was totalled and attempted in vein to pull my heroic partner from his corner bar position and the JW that he was drooling over. Alas, Jase was G-O-N-E - he had gone up river long ago and my calls for us to 'get up and split' were just met with a headshake that was almost childish in it's delivery. So f*** it, I had to split and off I went in search of the Hotel Indochine that was a few blocks away.

Somehow I made the few blocks home comfortably and awoke, I assume, the hotel manager/night manager (whatever he was called), to open the shutter at the front door and let me in. I made it to my be and instantaneously woke up at 1pm the next day (...what the hell ??). Man oh man, that night and morning really through me for a loop and my thoughts where swimming in the fog that acted as the drop off point for all other mental functions. Damn, I could not waste the rest of the day. First stop was to check if Jase had made it back alive - he had. How and when is a question that we'll never quite figure out. I on the other hand had an appointment with the Killing Fields and Tuol Sleng 'prison', S-21....a date that had been on my agenda for many, many years..........

Phnom Penh....the light and the dark

Phnom Penh

Even though I'd always wanted to see this place I didn't quite know what to expect. I've travelled through Europe and country skipping is no big deal but in this instance I'd not really done a lot of research, meaning, that all impressions were going to be fresh and not tainted by any real preconceived ideas.

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On the outskirts of Phnom Penh I remember thinking that I would be surprised if 'Highway 1', a glorified dirt track in part, led all the way to the centre of town. In fact, I don't think I was too far wrong, it would have only ended about 15kms from down and lining the roads where rickety shacks that were either basic housing or someone's very basic business. So, this place was different...different to the obvious economic momentum that had engulfed Vietnam sometime ago and far different to other SE Asian capitals / cities I've been too. I wouldn't categorise the outskirts or its residents as residing in a position of squalor but there was many an occassion when I thought this was the typical 1960's-70's view of the poor, 'third world' SE Asia that showed up on old National Geographic docs.

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Closer the centre of town we encountered something akin to what could be regarded as a capital city. Pathed streets, traffic lights, shops of some note, general busy activity etc - but when our bus parked and we disembarked, well, it was the typical jump by the localers to acquire tourist business in the only way they knew how. 'Sir, you want Tuk Tuk', 'Sir, I take you to hotel'. 'Sir, yes, come, come'. That's the way it is, a little in your face and sometimes annoying but always done with a good sense of humour. So, Jase and I jumped in with a guy called 'Change' - an authenic Cambodian name I'm told - well, for that ride at least. He took use a couple of kms from the city centre down by the Tonle Sap river where there was a string of hotels , restaurants and cafes all set up to steal a fists of Riel. Not that any Westerner would mind because the price of acquiring anything in Cambodia is probably a 50 times cheaper than it would be in their hometown.

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We managed to steal ourselves a decent little twin room for $30USD per night in a place called the Hotel Indochine. Good view of the rivew across the way and within the 4-5 block area of bars and general nightlife aimed at people like us. I have to say now, just to my short time in Phnom Penh and one solid night of drinking, I didn't really get to see too much else of the city other than this French inspired section. Kind of a shame to a certain extent but truthfully, the real places of interest that made my 'must see' list included the Killing Fields and Tuol Seng, a centre for torture during violent Khmer Rouge regime.

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Now, I'm not sure if I'm getting my days mixed up but I seem to recall that out first night in Phnom Penh ended up rolling into out first late night and early morning. An amusing story in itself which I'll expand on in my next post.

Phnom Penh....on reflection

Phnom Penh (Cambodia)

So where does this story start? Perhaps the night before in Saigon for NYE when 'going pear shaped' would have been a rather nice way of stating how everything just happened to fall apart. So, here we go. Jase and I had just made our way back to the hotel after a day on the Mekong, which I must say, was outstanding, fascinating, eye opening and in the end, just a really great experience. Anyway, we're back at our hotel and we decide to kick off NYE with a few drinks, aha you say, always a good way to start, but this is where the trouble actually originated. So we're cruising along  the streets of the town in the early evening and divert into the very authentic Saigon G'N'R bar, a place that religiously place 3 Guns'N'Roses songs and then perhaps follows up with a Metallica song before hitting the old faithful for another 3. Anyway we're drinking away and I see Jase getting progressively agitated, or perhaps, more to the point, emotionally distressed, and you know, I know the deal, he's missing his girl, he's spent 10 days with me and it's thrown him off balance, especially considering it's NYE. I might have though he was a bit of a 'soft cock' but in the same situation I would more than likely have felt the same way. Anyway in his wisdom and with the aim of settling his nerves he decides to head back up to the hotel room in order to call his girl whilst at the same time  leaving me with the job of holding the for down at the G'N'R bar.

Jase returns a little later, contact not made and obviously he's looking just like he must be feeling, distressed. Never the less we get up and move on, into the NYE night, heading for another bar with alternate drinks and perhaps something else to offer. The thing is, Jase has his wiring all askew, he's pissed that he hasn't been able to get in contact with his girl and he lets me know. Somewhere along the line he also loses his smokes and he lets me know about that also with a kind of a bit of an outburst. All these elements ends up culminating into one emotionally detached and pissed person, which right at this moment I don't want to deal with because hey, I'm in Saigon on NYE and I'm really wanting to have a great night! An argument ensues (yes, I've used that word twice now) and then I come out with a golden line,

'Hey, are you going to act like a dick all night', or words to that affect. I may have said it twice.

 In any case, Jase throws down his newly purchased smokes and walks into the night, I assume, never wanting to be seen again - so, there I'm left, contemplating taking on NYE solo this year, 'coolio'.

Without going into where my head space was at for the next two hours I did manage to walk back to the hotel room to find our emotionally damaged and decrepit hero in his 'party' uniform. So at about 10:30 we 'kicked' it Aussie style and went back out into the Saigon cauldron to live up the next 90 mins as best we could. This new perspective lasted about 45 mins until yours truly, a dumb ass for the ages, managed to leave his mobile phone in a bar/restaurant and himself acquired the standard 'pissed', 'flipout' status that one usually acquires when they lose an item of relative importance.

Anyway, the question is, how the hell does this relate to Phnom Penh? Well here's where it begins. New Year's Day was spent on a bus out of Saigon, to the border and thence beyond. Dreaming, drowsing away and glimpsing my way on the road to the border was comfortable. The border crossing however was a lesson in 'agitation', highlighted albeit with a modicum of amusement. So, there we are at the Vietnamese / Cambodian border crossing, our bus driver having horded our passports and $25USD for Cambodian visa requirements. We walk into the Vietnamese 'checkpoint' along within 100+ other border crossers, having no idea with regards to the rules, procedures or entry requirements. There we wait, crammed together, waiting for what we didn't exactly know. We see 'official' type people seated in booths stamping random passports and assumed from those actions that perhaps somewhere along the line our passports would acquire the same necessary stamps that would allow us to proceed further also. We waited, and waited, and waited some more, making jokes with fellow travellers and desperado's surrounding the clarity of the situation. We gained snippets of information, mostly from our bus driver who stood for 30 mins near a 'border official', I assume waiting for confirmation of visa acceptance or something along those lines, who knows, we certainly didn't. I'm guessing that about 45mins-60mins later we were ushered through, one by one, our bus driver chuffed at his ability to negate the system as efficiently as humanly possible, and truthfully, in the end, it was a lot better than the 'worse case' scenario that existed in the back of my mind. Fifteen minutes later we were in Cambodia and settling into a totally different odyssey.

About 4 hrs from the border we hit the capital of Cambodia, Phnom Penh. A place that for some reason I had always wanted to see and experience since I was about 8 yrs old. It's funny, sometimes places, names, features and alike just stick in your mind. For example, for me such places as Papeete, Paris, the Canary Islands, Neuschwanstein & Machu Picchu have always had pride of place and have always been place that I had intended on seeing. Now, I have actually been to some of the places that I've just mentioned and the others still remain on my agenda but in regards to Phom Penh, with me now at the ripe old age of 32, was getting checked out and crossed off my mental 'must see/must do' list. I admit, a lot of that had to do with my perception of Cambodia, the mystery that surrounded the country formerly know as Kampuchea, the land that Pol Pot had destroyed, the land of the 'Killing Fields', the land of untold brutality and torture. All of these images and concoctions had remained with me for years and now I was in a place that had occupied a tidy space in the corner of my mind for decades and I've got to say, the feeling was very cool.

I'd like to continue on here but I've had a couple and probably wouldn't do the place justice, so with that, I'll 'park' my Cambodian experience and revisit it when I'm a little more lucid.