LAOS - where it began

The seed of the idea that germinated and established itself into a monstrous, grotesque comphor laurel came from a now redundant BA that I worked with 18 months ago. We were discussing my then pending trip to Vietnam and Cambodia when he mentioned an almost mythical, Apocolypse Now type of place that existed somewhere in the midst of their next door neighbour Laos. He made mention of river side bamboo bars, ridiculous swings, slides, endless parties and forgotten days. Needless to say, whilst the name of the guy remains lost to me for eternity, the idea remained and it was passed on to my travelling partner in crime, JC to investigate. We did find out via some well constructed YouTube and Google searches that the port of 'endless dreams' was Vang Vieng, basically a backpacker's pit stop, known for it's tubing and extra curricular activities, please see 'happy pizza' for ease of reference. In any case, there it was, the idea of Laos hatched in our small minds, left for review at another date.

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So the months passed on by and the fondness of our trip to Vietnam and Cambodia resurfaced on occassion with discussions of perhaps some day soon making a return to that part of the world. Then, on one fateful September evening, with the air heavy with discussion of Air Asia X and their ridiculous deals that they apparently seemed to be offering to their down under cousins, we drank, reminisced, drank some more, reminisced and then decided to blow apart the fact from fiction by visiting the Air Asia site in order to discover the reality of fuel levies, taxes, pillow case surcharges, arm rest subsidies etc. Through our alcohol induced haze, faulty calculations and travel bravado we managed to plot a course that would get use from Sydney to Vientiane via Melbourne and Kuala Lumpur for a tick over $700 AUD - "Bullsh*t", right !? Well my friends no, the fiction was of course fact. With adventure in our hearts and tequila in our mind we booked Laos on a wing and a prayer, and thus was born our journey into the Land of a Millions elephants.

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I have got to say, from the time of booking I was a little apprehensive at the travelling party make up. Not so much that initially it was only three people but due to the fact that JC's attitude towards me over the previous months had really started to piss me off and I really didn't know if I could hang out another six months before taking off without wanting to break his neck. Hmmm, now that line wasn't particularly diplomatic now was it ? Needless to say, it was true. I'm not quite sure how it came to pass but I managed to sell JJ on the idea of of joining us for 'Laoescapades' and so it was that on the evening of 02-MAR-09 , JJ, JC, Audrey and myself met at the Sydney domestic terminal to commence a journey to a land where UXO's are part of common venacular.

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Sydney domestic

It commonly goes like this, JC prefers to get to a point of departure 15 hours prior to what a reasonable arrival time might be, 'just in case', 'something' might happen. Who knows what the hell is going on in that brain but the control freak dial is somewhere up at 12, where mine is dialled back to a comfortable 8. The rest, well, they don't even register. I'm not sure JJ even knew what country we were going to prior to making it to the airport, let alone need to figure out the logistics of gate numbers and alike.

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Of course you may be asking why Sydney domestic and the simple answer is that Air Asia for the moment was only making the KL run out of Melbourne. A quick jump down the Avalon was thus needed in order to get us across the line for a 2:00am picks up from Tullamarine. I guess this part of the journey I can call 'the good', the 'amicable', the 'optimistic' section. Aside from Avalon being about 15kms outside of Geelong and about 80kms from Melbourne, the drive up to Melbourne itself was alright and a night on Brunswick St, hanging out in a quaint small Spanish restaurant / bar, taking down a few drinks and lining up some tapas is pretty much what the doctor ordered. Frankly, I could have stayed there a few nights longer but that's the way Melbourne and I operate (just move there already Henry) - yes, I should.

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So 02:00 ticks on by and we're kicking back in the lounge area of Tullamarine, putting back a few drinks before flying off into the early morning sky and heading north to KL. All excited, (except for Jase - we're constantly told how he's not), we make our run down express route 1 of Tullamarine and head north.

It's a wrap

A year removed from this escapade, recalling the intricacies are a little difficult but enjoyable at the same time. From memory I think my last few hours in Rome involved a bus ride back from the Vatican, spending a lot more time in front of the Trevi fountain and enjoying the most Italian meal that I could find in the vicinity. Kind of like having a vegemite sandwhich whilst walking across the Harbour Bridge and taking a photo of the Opera House.

In Summary - lets go with the greatest hits

Favourite places: Paris, Fes, Marrakech

Most Surprising: Rome

Coolest place for a night out: Barcelona, Madrid

Favourite Hotel: Dar One Riad - Marrakech

Best place to get totally lost: Fes

Best place to drink and get totally lost: Barcelona

Coolest moment: Seeing the Eiffel Tower for the very first time - it's a long way from Year 8 French class.

Uncoolest: Have some Moroccan teenager rip-off my phone with their typical 'My brother, it's in your best interests' look.

Best comeback: Video taping the pick pocket that tried to take off with my wallet in D'jemma el Fna, Marrakech.

Most Random ..but still cool event: Running into Michel De La Chaise in Vienna airport, being on the same flight home as me, staying at the same hotel in Dubai and then hanging out with him for a night, drinking, smoking some sheesha and catching cabs to random tourist destinations at 4am, lol, awesome !

Best Meal: Chez Robert et Louis, Le Marais, Paris.

Total Flights: 10

Total kms covered: 39,568

Rome - The Wholly Sea -Città del Vaticano

…and yes, I know it’s the Holy See


No rest for the wicked or the passionate young traveller (that’s right, I called myself young) ! Turn around times on my holidays are notoriously short, part of that being alcohol related and the other part being my desire to loose myself in a new city where the objective is to check things out rather than check out late. Also, on this day I had another objective, cracking the Vatican City State effectively means that I’d be leaving Italy behind for a few hours and entering another country. No additional stamp on the passport but then again, in these modern EU times, passport stamps are increasing becoming a rarity.

So, this state is effectively a walled enclave within the city of Rome, and with a burgeoning population of 900 people, coupled with a vast territory of 110 acres, is also the smallest country on earth in reference to both size and population. Hmmm, I wonder what their birth rate is ? It is in fact the big police doughnut if you wanted to know.

My morning in Rome effectively involved a bit of a cruise around on one of those ‘jump on – jump off’ buses but the primary stop for me was to be Piazza San Pietro (St Peter’s Square). As I ‘jumped-off’ the bus and strolled up along with the few thousand other pilgrims, I noticed that St.Peter’s Basilica was actually quite freakin’ enormous. Right, so this is where the Pope and his cohorts kick it during the week hey, it’s kind of grandiose in that typically Catholic way and slightly reverent ….in that typically Catholic way also. On this occasion I wasn’t in for any sort of guilt trip although I noticed a few of the Papal police kicking people out of the queue to enter the Basilica for not wearing ‘appropriate’ clothing? Go figure, the Hard Rock café lives by the credo of ‘love all, serve all’ and here the centre of the universe for Catholics goes by the credo ‘Love all, serve all of those dressed appropriately’. Apparently the large forecourt in front of the Basilica was designed so that the largest number of people could see the Pope during mass /prayer time / blessings etc. Right in the centre is an enormous obelisk, again, from some background reading it’s apparently an Egyptian obelisk made of red
granite and stands at 40+ mtrs from its base.

St Peter's Square

The queue to get in was definitely the most disorganised that I had stood in over the past few weeks but they’re Italian ( or are they ‘Vaticano’), either way, you kind of expect it. You could see the Catholics just wanting to ‘lose it’ but we’re unfortunately beaten back by their own moral standing and the inevitable judgment that would have come with the line, ‘Aren’t you Catholic’ .

Once inside I can say that the place was as enormous as it was on the outside, and I guess that’s what got to me, just the sheer vastness. I did at that moment thing that the acoustics in the joint would be befitting of a rock concert, but who would do the gig ? Perhaps God himself ? Aka Bono ! I guess there’s nothing too much additional to report about the interior, the more impressive element was the walk up to the top of the dome. I did encounter momentary flashbacks to my Chu Chi tunnel experience when the staircase closed in on me as I wound around the outside of the dome and my brain told me that the ‘fear’ trigger was being alerted because we were being enclosed. Stupid brain, I got over that one quick smart by convincing myself that I’d be such a pansy if I lost the plot - and so I didn’t !! lol

The view from the top of St.Peters was spectacular! Again, what took me by surprise was that it seemed like the outskirts of the city was actually quite close to the city centre. None of those sprawling suburban landscapes that we mentally equate as being a typical characteristic of a well known city.

….hmmm, am stopping here, one more Roman fixture to go before I wrap up my European escapades and start discussing the anguish, pain and logistical nightmare that. was Laos.