Madrid - Be a SmartTraveller ...but become a wuss

The warnings on the DFAT site, coded under the very parternal heading of 'SmartTraveller' advice, basically provides travellers with all sorts of warnings of what not to be doing, also rating countries on a 1-5 scale in relation to safety, the most extreme or 5 on the scale meaning that you should really, really, really write yourself a will before heading off, etc, etc. Most of the warnings are well over played and if everyone was to follow what the Department said, well, then you'd be concerned over your safety in Brisbane at Origin time. Why I bring this point up is something I'll discuss later.

Once my flight landed in Madrid I jumped into a cab and made it to Hostel Mistral, 32 Valverde. I chose this place because it was 5 mins walking distance from the apartment that I'd rented for the next few days in Caballero de Gracia. The Hostel was reasonable enough, very cheap and more than anything, extremely central. Until this point in my life I had never undertaken the hostel existence, and aside from it being an extremely cheap way to spend a few nights anywhere, you obviously get placed in close company with other people and don't really have any other option but to socialise. In my first 30 mins of arriving at Mistral I met Paul, a guy from California...I know, I know, a yank, we all hate them right? ...And really, who am I to judge, except for ALL THE TIME, but right from our first discussion we got along. He seemed like a pretty cool guy and hey, I know I'm a cool guy, so that was always going to work out.

After chatting with Paul for a while I decided to walk around a little in order to get my bearings. I'd been to Madrid before, a couple of years ago (2008) but had only stayed a couple of days. With that said, my sense of direction is pretty good and I always remember surroundings that I'd stumbled through previously. In the same fashion I was able to locate Puerto del Sol, essentially

the heart of the city, without too much difficulty, and then followed up by locking into Plaza Mayor in much the same fashion. I kind of strolled around for a few hours until I ran into Paul chomping down on some good 'ole Pollo y fritas on Calle Montera. Chatting with him for a few minutes we decided that we'd catch up at the hostel a little later and line up the 2nd round World Cup clash of USA v.Ghana.

Kick-off for the game was at 20:30, by which time we'd located an Irish bar to watch the game in. So there we were, a yank with a suitably patriotic shirt in tow, an Australian wearing his Socceroos jersey, in the centre of Spain, chatting with some Dutch guy regarding the outcome of a game that Ghana ended up winning - all supporting with several mojitos, the origins of which I'm not too familiar with. It was a hot and heaving crucible of international influence, only put to rest after 120 mins when Ghana scored in extra-time to win the clash and make it to the QF's, a showdown set with my buddies, Uruguay.

Several mojitos to the good we dropped back down into Puerta de Sol for some late evening bocodillo's before strolling back up Calle Montera in order to count the number of pro's working the beat on the thoroughfare. I think in the 5 mins it took us to walk up the street we counting close to twenty, most of whom looked like their best days were in the last millenium - no

judgement on my part, just calling it as I saw it at the time...

Buenos Aires - Aerolineas - The Business Class shonkters

Buenos Aires to Madrid

Woke up earlier than I usually would in BA, that time differential when travelling east takes a little bit of getting use to. With that said, I hit bet at approximately 9pm the night before and appart from bits and pieces of ceiling staring and the incessant opening and closing of gates by ´pissed idiots´....(of which I would have loved to have been one)... I slept through until 5am, which was alright. Had myself a bit of a light breakfast and then spent the next hour or so walking up from San Telmo to the obelisk, just wanted to grab a few photos in the morning light. Not such an eventful morning but I achieved my goal of taking the iconic shot of Buenos Aires, and then made it back to the hostel for the kick-off of the final round game in group F, Brazil v Portugal. This was equally as uninspiring as my morning walk and ended up fizzing out to a nil my all draw, which is a result I think satisfied both teams considering the positions in the group. In any case, once 12 noon came around a devotee of Ricardo met me at the front door and whisked me away to Ezeiza airport into order to catch the 15:00 flight to Barcelona.

Now, I´ve flown Aerolineas a grand total of one time before my BA to Barca flight. Several times from both the captain and crew we the lucky paying patrons had it subconsciously drilled into our heads that they pride themselves on punctuality and service. Thus far, Aerolineas had been delayed for one reason or another on several occasions, so too, the flight to Barcelona ended up being delayed approximately an hour. Not  really so bad (for them), and even better that Aerolineas decided to personally make it up to me  by deciding to upgrade me to business class for the journey, oh yeah, I wasn't going to complain with that! The only issue, they said, was that the seat I was allocated didn't recline, "no problems I added, it'll be fine with me"...famous last words! If you're going to make any sort of decision then really, you should know what you're getting yourself into. Learn the facts, understanding the ruling and apply the law to the facts, that´s what I should know, that´s not what I practice however. Once I was seated in 6B, at the pointy end of the plane, I quickly realised exactly where my error of judgment was, and it definitely wasn't with the company that I had in 6A, because she was one very cute Argentinian, if perhaps a little below my 'age class'...can't believe that I have

age classes now, (although she would have been a few years too old for Jet!!). In any case, taking my seat I realised right at the moment that I sat down that if this baby wasn't going to recline then I'd more than likely be staying awake for the next 12hrs to Barcelona. My assessment of impending insomnia was of course warranted.

As Aerolineas made it's away out over the Rio Mar de la Plata and into the clouds above Uruguay, nearly all the punters into business class had their seats set into the recline position,  except for Miss 6A and yours truly in 6B. The seating was dreadful and I knew that unless I came up with some type of novel stroke of genious that  I'd be looking out over into the blackness of both the South and North Atlantic in the hours to come.....and so you guessed it, that's what I did. To get an idea of what´s that like, sit bolt upright in your backyard for eight hours in the middle of the night, fun and games that the whole family can play!

With the sun splitting through the tiny gaps of the window shutters, come early morning my eyes were red, my head was hazy and I was ready to pay anything to anyone to get me into a bed, unfortunately it would only involve sleep at this point, I couldn´t guarantee any more than that. By the time we were on the approach glide path into Barcelona I was dreading the additional flight to Madrrid and the additional hassle that I was going to have to put myself through in order to get there. 'Surprisingly' the 'ethereal eternal smart ass being' decided to mess with baggage control and we were required to wait nearly two hours until our bags appeared on the magic carousel of fortune, which in turn prompted a mad rush to make the Vueling flight to Madrid. The additional time that I budgets between Aerolineas being inevitably late and the departure time for the flight to Madrid was wittled away by staring at a carousel for two hours with the words ´Aerolineas flight AR 1160 - arrived´ displayed handsomely above it. Oh yeah, we had arrived, the plane could have already split and been touching down in Berlin by the time our baggage had made its way around the chook lotto wheel.

Picking up my bags and moving as quickly as possible through customs, I was out and back into another line, lining up for the Madrid shuttle. In no time I was back up at 35,000 feet leaping Catalunyan puddles to Madrid. Now all I needed was a coffee and a lay down - I know, weird, but it works for me, throw your petty little judgments and assessments of my style somewhere else....

Sydney to Buenos Aires - Whiskey soured and on the way to the land of Chavo Fucks!

Sydney (Australia) to Buenos Aires (Argentina)
24 JUN 2010

Apparently good 'ole Chavo is a presenter on TV in Buenos Aires, so you could kind of understand my confusion and Catholic schoolboy laughter when on page 4 of the Aerolineas Argentinas in flight magazine Mr Fucks was proudly lined up alongside his glorious Chn 23 colleagues. I suspect that it's all in the pronunciation and just like Cockburn isn't actually pronounced the way that it's spelt, I'm sure this Fuck guy also has a perculiar twist on his name.

Lifting up into the skies this afternoon with a pounding head and hazy mind, I tried to gather a few of the thoughts that had some how escaped me from the night before. Fortified with whiskey sour glory, we conquered the Shady Pines Saloon bar and the 'hacks over time' graph got more than just a work out with all the 'impressed woman' marvelling at the skill, dexterity and

sheer commitment to the cause that only a hacky specialist can muster. Well, perhaps they were only impressed by the fact that I was using a prop - 'So hey baby, what to you think of my graph?'. Wonder how that line is going to work for me in downtown Buenos Aires tomorrow night?

So, I'd like to thank the following people for their commitment to the cause, JJ, Jet, Craig, Maeve, Ali, Katie, Nat, Rob, Alex and Sandra, for getting me across the line from tired and wrecked uni deadbeat that had just gone12 rounds with a couple of exams - to, ...wait for it, a tired and wrecked uni deadbeat that was absolutely trashed by the witching hour. Also, big thanks to Nat and Rob for driving myself and Jet home. Huge props, even if you did manage to take a couple of ordinary photos of us crashed out in the back!!! ....Oh, and just to add, the rest of you that didn´t make it ´plainly suck - monkeys gonads may I add!!´

With that all done and dusted, am heading out from Auckland airport shortly and will be on my way to Buenos Aires for the night before catching the afternoon shuttle across the Atlantic to Madrid. After months in the planning I'm starting to turn some of my dreams into memories.


Buenos Aires (24-25 June)

My first glimpse of the sixth continent that I was about to step foot on was a couple of hours outside of Buenos Aires. By that time we'd been in the air for approximately 10 hrs out of Auckland, I'd not really had a hell of a lot of sleep and the sun was just piercing through the window and reflecting off the wing. With that said, I was pretty damn excited.

BA EZE is located about 35kms outside the centre of the city. My man Ricardo discussed the intricacies of the Argentinian football team and his confidence in their propensity to 'stuff a good thing up'. I had to say, I wasn't in his camp and advised him that mentally I'd already crowed the Argentinians as world champs, time will tell.

On first impressions BA did not really look like the typical South American city, not that I really know what one looks like but on first impressions it had a type of shabby chic Barcelona type of feel. Making my base in San Telmo for my one and only night this time around I did what I usually do when I get to a new place, I hit the streets and walk...and walk...and walk. For me it's the best way to get comfortable, get familiar with your surrounds and to pick up the vibe of the neighbourhood that you're in.

It certainly didn't take me that long to get a feel for San Telmo, beautiful cobblestoned streets, cafes , bars and 'tango bars' lining the most of them, it had that Bohemian vibe that I really love, and even though any of the buildings are in slight decay it just adds to the atmosphere. I walked for quite some time, along many of the streets that I'd only seen on maps previously. Starting off

at 1351 Balcarce I made my way north to Avenue Belgrano, hung a left and then walked for what felt like an eternity until I finally hit Avenue 9 de Julio. This thoroughfare is enormous, eight lanes in total, this things splits Buenos Aires down the middle. The focal point/drawcard being the large obelisk at the intersection of Avenue Corrientes. This huge 'phallic' symbol which is 'the' iconic structure of Buenos Aires was built in 1936 to commerate the 400th anniversary of the foundation of the city - it was built on the spot where the Argentinian flag was hoisted for the first time - standing at a most honourable height of 67 metres.

San Telmo, home of the Tango and Senor Elisher

The Obelisk of Buenos Aires

Buenos Aires - Avenue 9 de Julio

I then took a walk down Avenue Corrientes, considered ito be the 'Argentinian Broadway', it is lined with theatres, cafes and cinemas for many blocks. Developing a bit of a hunger mid stroll I stopped off a few blocks north of Avenue Corrientes to try and land some 'stock standard' Argentine cuisine. After some indecision and mindless strolling some Brazillian looking Argentinian guy sold me on the quality of the bife de chorizo and their set menus, which for a whole $8 ended up being a tasty steak main, a glass of red wine and some ice cream for dessert. No complaints with any of it from the guy on the receiving end, it was 'perfecto'!

On the way back to the hostel I stopped off at Plaza de Mayo. I had an idea that it was historically significant but it was only really the next day, with some expert guidance via a Buenos Aires tourist guide that I discovered that it is considered to be the most historic place in the city. Some of the most significant events in the countries history commenced in this spot, such as the 1810 Revolution, the Constitution of 1860, the Peronist concentration of 1945, and the events of December 2001. It was only after stopping here that the jet lag really started to catch up with me and hence I made my way back to home base. I've got to say, the moment

I got to my room I completely crashed out, it was 'lights out for Senor Elisher' on night one of a Year Full of Saturdays.

As this was only a stopover on the way to Madrid this was to be like a range finder for me, time just to get acquainted with BA before jumping in at the deep end come the start of October. I've got to say, I'm already really looking forward to the time that I''ll be spending here on the return leg!.

Life in a year full of Saturdays

Living out a year full of Saturdays

I recall the time, place, even the conversation that I was having when the idea of this eventuated. It was several months ago now but the the Trigger point can be found on this link. So first of all I need to say a huge thankyou to Paula, because without that conversation, well there wouldn't be this!

Back in October 2009 I was sitting with Paula outside of UTS, discussing future travels etc. It was only on the way home that my brain clicked and all the things that I thought were barriers to me leaving all of a sudden sounded like well worn excuses that were tired, old, and didn't hold much weight to them. So I hatched a plan, walked into the office the next day and told the boss that come July 2010 I wouldn't be here any more. To his credit, and the rest of the BIP gang at AAPT, they worked it in such a way  that my departing gift would also be accompanied by my role being graciously disestablished, meaning that my bank account was going to copy a sizeable bonus for the 5 yrs that I'd occupied a jump seat. To them I send out a huge 'thank you'! The payout will more than definitely come in handy.

Here I am, almost eight months after making 'that' decision and just on 5 weeks before jumping my flight out of Sydney with Aerolineas Argentinas to Madrid (initially) - I'll explain the rest of the plan in a minute. Since October the plan hasn't waivered and as my boss James said on his last day at AAPT, 'It's always good to see a plan come to fruitition'. Actually I don't think he used the word 'fruitition' but I think you know the point I was trying to make. In any case, that was then, and with hacky sack skills learned between October and April 2010 (We are the kings Craig) and with plans in full swing, it's time to head off in order to conquer a continent or three.

So the starting point is to be a flight out of Sydney on 24-June, via Buenos Aires to Madrid. A few days hanging out in Madrid and then into Barcelona for a family/friend holidays of sorts. After which we'll be moving down to Morocco for 10 days and then back into Europe. I'll be on the continent for approximately three months, doing as much as I can, seeing as much as I can and I guess drinking my way around. Ofcourse I'll be taking it 'old school' for several weeks and dropping into Belgrade, Serbia, to spend time with the relatives. Along the way I'll be checking out U2 play in Athens on 05 Sep, and I'll be backing up to see them tear up San Sebastien on 26 Sep - I also have a reservation at Arzak, San Sebastien, for 24 Sep, one of the best restaurants in the world (really looking forward to that). Then, on 01 Oct I'll be flying out of Madrid back to Buenos Aires.

Here is where I plan to get lost and just make it up when it happens. My flight back to Australia isn't booked until Mid March, but who knows how long I'll stay. I'm just going to make my way around Sur America and take myself to all the places that I've wanted to see and see all those places that have wanted me to see them, sometimes the best accidents and discoveries occur in that fashion.

Five weeks away now, really not long at all. This serves as entry #1 in my Life in a year full of Saturdays. I hope to stay on top of this one a little more than I have with the other write ups, most of which were written post the event.....in any case....here we go...!!!!!!

It's a wrap - Vietnam/Malaysia

I've taken to doing a last summary or a 'greatest hits' review whenever I've completed the final write up of the 'how, why, when and whatever else may have been alcohol related' daily blog series of my most recent excursion.  Sticking with tradition therefore and adopting the same template that I've used in the past, see also;

[Morocco-Europe wrap - June/July 2008]

[Laos wrap - April 2009]

 well, I bring to you the 'close out' of the Vietnam-Malaysia experience, Dec'09 - Jan '10.

Vietnam-Malaysia - 'the final'

Favourite places:  Hoi An - definitely for it's relaxed vibe, great bars and restaurants, just a really fantastic place to take some time out and immerse yourself in whatever it is that you need/want.

Also, Hanoi - it's chaotic,charming,vibrant, irritating and welcoming, and that's all at the same time. A great place to explore, get lost and get into some unique experiences.

Most Surprising:  Hoi An - Basically because it was several places in one, an old Ancient town, a place close to a fantastic beach setting, a shopping mecca. It's everything you want and more.

Coolest place for a night out:  I think Hanoi on this one, althought it doesn't beat Hoi An by a great distance. I only base our experience on the small area of bars that we visited in Hanoi but I loved them all.

Favourite Hotel:  The Traders Hotel in Kuala Lumpur by a long way, the view of Petronas Towers is something that just couldn't be beaten by anywhere else that we stayed. Although an honourable mention gooes to the Hanoi Elegance chain of hotels, their service was supreme.

Best place to get totally lost:  On a night out, it has to be the Old Quarter in Hanoi. Get plastered and try and find your way anywhere after that!

Best place to drink and get totally lost:  The Old Quarter in Hanoi is a gem but Hoi An has its winners also, so I'm going to have to let them fight out a draw on this one. Both of them are unique in their own right and comparing totally different elements and characteristics wouldn't do either of them justice.

Coolest Moment:  The whole damn trip was one long 'cool moment' - so to pick out a few in chronological order.

* Catching up with Frichot on our first night in KL, getting totalled in the Beatles Bar and then trying to remain lucid enough for the remaining hours of the morning to try and catch our flight out to Hanoi

* Frichot showing us all we he 'really thought of Malaysia' on that initial night. The YouTube footage will be available shortly.

* Any of our nights at the Funky Buddha bar in Hanoi

* Cruising Ha Long Bay

* Karaoke night in Hoi An

* Our 'Messi' night in Hoi An

* Our huge NYE in Skybar at the Traders Hotel, Kuala Lumpur

Uncoolest Moment:  This comes down to two. The English git that wanted to take both Frichot and myself outside in order to teach us a 'lesson' as we had queue jumped and we'd left him with an additional five minute wait - KL LCC Terminal, on the morning of our flight from Kuala Lumpur to Hanoi.

Tied with that fruit loop comes the Malay guy in the Chinatown McDonalds in KL on New Year's Day morning. After taking a photo of two girls crashed out on the table this guys eyes filled with rage and he tried to tell us that we had no right to take the photo seeing as though we had not asked permission. Well no my friend, it's a public space, this photo was taken on my camera and is now my personal property! He was a true charmer, although I'm sure both Frichot and I in our moderately jovial and pissed state antagonised him, 'slightly' ;)

Best comeback:  Frichot hurling outside of the 7-11 in Kuala Lumpur after our Beatles Bar session. It was a gem of a comeback as I thought that in his state he wouldn't be making it out of the hotel for hours, and we needed to get moving in about 30mins. He made the cab, I don't know how, but he did.

Most random...but still cool event:  There's a couple on this list.

* Hoi An karaoke - it appeared out of nowhere but once we were involved it became a great evening.

* Running into our new South African friends a few days after the karaoke experience. My bicycle required maintenance just in front of the cafe that the girls has stopped in at and from there I ended up spending a great afternoon with them, and also acquired an additional drinking session with them to boot.

* Catching Frichot in the customs line at KL LCC Terminal on the flight back from Hanoi to KL. Now this was the epitome of random. In a sea of humanity we just had the feeling that we'd find each other, and 'hey presto', we did.

Best Meal:  There's a couple on this list also;

* The three course meal that I had at the River Lounge in Hoi An. It was absolutely fantastic and only cost me $10AUD, inclusive of drinks.

* The evening dinner on the Bhaya, whilst cruising Ha Long Bay

* The random street fair in Hanoi, not the 'best meal' but it became one at the point in time I knew that we'd dodged food poisoning!

Total Flights:  7

Train Rides: 1 (Hanoi - Da Nang)

Total kms covered (air):  18,826kms, an average of 2689kms per flight.

There we have it, Vietnam/Malaysia all wrapped. I look forward to delivering you more when the tour of  Morocco-Europe-South America (2010-2011) kicks off on June 24th!

Melbourne - 'Bourne to run

Getting the flock loaded onto the Asia X flight bound for Melbourne at just after midnight was a relatively easy thing to do. It looked as though the plane was only at approximately 60-70% capacity as there were seats aplenty scattered around the cabin. As we thundered down the runway and launched ourselves into the KL sky I had kind of wished that I’d been able to knock down a few drinks beforehand. This to me is no longer a pleasant part of doing continental runs, I hate taking off more than anything! All that I can imagine for those few minutes whilst climbing into the vast emptiness above the ground are either the engines blowing out or the plane somehow spiralling out of control at 500kms an hour into the apartment blocks below…anyway….enough of that. We sailed through the canopy of darkness with ease and set our sights south for a 9hr journey.

With a little dexterity and subtle manoeuvring I somehow managed to score the tri-chair dream position in the centre of the aisle. Three seats of bliss that Frichot could somehow not find himself to get comfortable on whilst I made my bed below those seats for the first two hours of the flight. Needless to say, I accepted the gift that he presented me without any concerns and virtually slept the entire way to Melbourne. Each time we encountered a little turbulence however I was roused from my sleep just long enough to see Frichot sitting bolt upright either reading away or staring into the abyss and wishing that the flight was over. I think he’s more of a nervous flyer than I am, although we make an excellent ‘panic station’ advert duo for all those that fear flying generally. Check us out boys and girls, all the reasons as to why you shouldn’t fly, etched right here on our faces!

Touching down at Tullamarine somewhere around midday I think both of us just wanted to head for home rather than spend a night in Melbourne, well probably more so myself than Frichot. My attempts to get in contact with any customer service rep by phone from Tiger airlines was futile and walking down to their own terminal, several hundred metres away from the main domestic terminal, I kind of realised why these guys are considered at the extreme end of the budget spectrum. The queues and the size of the terminal generally reminded me of the line ups for bathrooms at major sporting events, crowded, claustrophobic, with piss and shit everywhere. This was a cattle yard, and man, I was not going to endure that hideous mist of evaporating sweat and body heat just to be advised that ‘No sir, we can’t do anything for you because we’re only authorised to be ignorant, arrogant and ignore anything that remotely relates to decent customer service’.

We eventually decided that staying in Melbourne for the night was the right choice, and really, I wasn’t complaining, it is my favourite city in Australia. Booking ourselves into some budget accommodation, The Albany, just off Toorak Rd in South Yarra, we jumped onto a bus and headed to Southern Cross station on Bourke St. There we got ourselves into a taxi at which time I reminded myself that at journeys end I should only be paying cash as I’ve been scammed by Melbourne taxi drivers twice in the past with them using my credit card details to fraudulently charge amounts and trips that were never taken.

For reference: [Melbourne Taxi Scam] .

It’s the only irritating thing about Melbourne, and even though this scam is really well known nobody seems to be doing anything about it, not the police, not the government, ombudsman etc.

After checking in at the Albany we crashed out for a few hours, Frichot catching up on the sleep that he didn’t get on the Asia X flight and me stealing whatever additional sleep that I needed just for the hell of it.

The Albany - South Yarra - Melbourne

By the time early evening came around and we unpacked some of our luggage we were also able to find where we’d hidden our wits and energy, which appeared to be well hidden away in our bags. We walked down to St.Kilda road and jumped a couple of trams to Brunswick St. I’ve mentioned it a few times before, and I’ll do it again now, this area is one of my favourite places in Melbourne to either grab some food or have a few drinks – especially the Black Pearl bar, tucked away in the kind of grungy Fitzroy bar scene than is not really replicated anywhere else in Australia…well, I guess Newtown tries but it doesn’t really get it across the line in the same manner. Frichot, his mind drifting back to the ‘greatest hits of 2008’ had a bit of a hankering for the woodfire pizza joint that we’d been to a year earlier and I fully supported him on that stroke of genius. Parking ourselves there for a couple of gourmet pizzas and a bottle of red or two, we chatted about the last few weeks and showed the waiter some of our NYE shots from KL – it was kind of hard to believe that we were there only two nights ago, leaving many a brain cell behind. The waiter also told us about his ex-girlfriend was now living in KL, kind of looks like we weren’t the only ones to lose something to the Malaysian capital.

Mural just off Brunswick St - Always take a photo when I'm here

Apparently the ex of a friend of mine painted this - or so she tells me!

As the night wore on we made our way up a couple of hundred metres to another cool venue, the name of which escapes me, it had a bit of live music going, then checked out a drummer that had camped himself on the intersection of Brunswick and Johnston St to display to one and all the type of groove he was capable of…and man…he was alright! [Brunswick St Drummer] . Hanging out for a little while Frichot made that call that we head up to AC/DC lane and have a few drinks at the place where we’d spent the earliest hours of last year getting our drink on, which in turn we did. Truthfully by this point my enthusiasm for all things nocturnal had vacated the premises and my mind felt like it was swimming threw a bowl of thick soup. I think we hung out for a few hours before calling it a night and making it back to the Albany for what would be an early morning start in order to catch out 6:00am flight back to Sydney.

So it was, at about 4:00am we were picked up at the Albany and driven to Southern Cross station where we jumped a bus to the domestic terminal. A little after 6am we were up in Australian skies once more, on a Singaporean based airline, flying on our last leg home from trip to Vietnam and Malaysia. This my friends is where this journey ends. It was definitely one of the best trips that I’ve had and I think having a really good mate along to share those experiences, the laughs, the sights and sounds just really made it for me. So hopefully sometime soon we can do it all again, NYE 2010-11, Rio de Janiero is a callin' !!!. This however is the last write up for this journey, one more ‘Greatest hits’ wrap ups to go and then I’ll be off to more wicked and wild escapades somewhere in this world…watch this space!!!

Last leg - Melbourne to Sydney

Kuala Lumpur - 010110 Struggle St

As sure as I knew that it was an anomaly for me to be feeling perfectly fine and reasonably energetic at the Traders buffet, I  knew that a monumental crash was on the way, it’s the standard financial boom-bust cycle transposed onto my physiognomy, and also accompanied by my own internal knowledge that I know at times like these I get a little soft. Looking around the ‘Camp 2010’  crew of Traders diners, everyone looked particularly fresh, kind of like that they’d decided to call the night quits at 8pm  last decade or something. I had however stood my ground fervently, had witnessed every second of every minute of every hour that this decade had offered thus far. Had made my way through the streets of Kuala Lumpur long enough for my shirt and trousers to dry completely from an early morning swim, and now here, in this place where food is the great equaliser, the ‘reasonable’ , the ‘conservative’, the ‘soft’ and the internally ‘weak’ were eyeing me off like I was the one missing out!? Well my friends, I’m glad you went to bed earlier in order to be up at this time to help me polish off that bacon, it must have been a worthwhile trade-off!

With my stomach lined and my mind swimming in a sea of turbidity, I took a ride up to our floor, walked into our room and contemplated my situation for a few moments. The Maxis scoreboard was calling me out at something close to 8am which in turn was roughly the equivalent time that I’d taken the photo of Petronas in my previous write up, 24hrs earlier. Unfortunately my heart and mind gave out at that point, the bed looked way, way too comfortable for me to be playing New Years Day chicken with it and I caved. I knew right then that when I woke again the Elisher I’d checked out with would not be the same indestructible Elisher that would awake later in the day.

Somewhere after midday the groans and echoes of groans were heard in our room. This was reality, as pure as it gets. Frichot had tapped out about 90 mins before me and the collective result of our mornings' activities had certainly caught up with him. I was personally feeling like bat shit! Having not ever seen bat shit or even Googled it, I could only imagine that it’s the worst kind of shit that you could ever encounter, well, perhaps somewhere after bull shit, cow shit and maybe horse shit, but yeah, it’s definitely in the top 5. Petronas was also glowing through our wondow  like the freakin’ daylight smartarse towers of smugness that you knew stood there just to make fun of your pain and agony. What’s worse, Frichot and I both realised that we’d beaten the clock on 'requested' checkout time, which I remember as being 12pm and we needed to ask for an extension. No problems from the Traders staff, they provided us with an extra hour of torture and pain for us to be able to somehow shower, pack and checkout. Good luck I say!

About 1:30pm we called in a few porters to assist in making our way down to reception and finally checked out. We were weak and weary, the will to walk anywhere too far from right here was not within our undertaking, in fact, it’s not something that we could have even comprehended at that point. We made a joint decision to head to the Traders business centre and took up a position at a couple of terminals, surfed a little, ordered up some mega doses of caffeine and tried our best to make sense of it all. I don’t know how the hell we managed it but somehow we ended up sitting on these seats, surfing the net, contemplating our life and loves for somewhere verging on 3.5hours!

Eventually finding the gumption and the internal fortitude to remove ourselves from the Traders NYE purgatory room of redemption, we walked on over to the mall at Petronas Towers, not so much with any purpose but rather with the idea that some movement was going to be better than nothing at all. We walked around, checked things out, got a late lunch that really doubled as an early dinner and essentially tried to play ‘beat the clock’ on our decade busting hangovers.

This shot is all sorts of wrong...and I think Bert & Ernie are thinking along those same lines

Petronas Towers - Kuala Lumpur

Considering that our flight out of KL was until midnight we still had a few hours to burn before having to take the ride out to the terminal in order to make our Asia X flight to Melbourne. Frichot nominated a movie to carve out a few relaxed hours and seeing as though Avatar in 3D was ready and available, we made an easy decision. What however was not easy was trying to make a ticket purchase to catch the movie. I don’t know what time of sadistic system these Malaysians had going but standing in queue to try and land a spot lasted somewhere close to the movie duration. Knowing that Avatar is an epic 3+ hours then that’s no mean feat!

Sure, given the right situation, why the hell not!?

Malaysians giving a big shout out to 'ya mother bot's' - Word

Petronas Towers - Kuala Lumpur

In any case we did get to see Avatar and it almost perfectly aligned with our KL escape plan. Walking back across KLCC park to the Traders hotel we picked up our luggage out of storage and were quickly whisked away by taxi for the hour ride to the airport. Other than that, arriving, check in, customs and the whole departure standard was as per normal. We were on our midnight flight out of KL bound for sunny Melbourne and a final night of who knew what before heading home.