Melbourne (Australia) - Staycation: The Lazy Person’s Passport

Melbourne (Australia)

05 - 06 January 2025

I used to think the whole concept of a staycation was the pinnacle of lameness, the travel equivalent of taking your cousin to your end-of-year formal. Let’s be honest, it’s not a choice made from a rich pool of enticing options. It’s a last-ditch, hail Mary attempt to dodge the quiet shame of showing up solo… or not showing up at all.

And look, I get it. In Year 10, my date  for the evening sat at our table for all of five minutes before vanishing into the ether, cloaked by a blanker of darkness, never to be seen again. By Year 12, I thought I would have had time to have crafted myself another opportunity — or so I thought — only this time the girl that I had my eye on asked to go with me erected so many barriers and produced so many creative excuses that I eventually end up going alone. To top it off, at the end of the night, I ended up driving home a friend that was dumped AT the formal. That’s what a staycation feels like to me, the result of what happens when all your opportunities have disappeared before your eyes.

In fact, let’s stretch the metaphor a little further. You know that person who’s been perpetually single, and when you ask why, they sigh dramatically and say, “I’m just really picky"...No, you’re not! You just don’t have any options. Start by reviewing your personality, your look, or whatever else that might be holding you back — but please, don’t pretend it’s about being overly selective. You’re not curating your best life by selling yourself on the idea that your excruciatingly high standards are preventing your from getting what you really desire.

Melbourne staycation

Given that we were wedged awkwardly between overseas holidays and sitting firmly on the wrong side of available annual leave, we made a last-ditch decision to experience Melbourne through the eyes of a tourist.

Now, in our own pathetic defence, Inga and I aren’t Melbourne natives. We’re part of the “from somewhere else” crew , the ones who still reference out past cities of Sydney and Riga as back home -  unironically, even after seven years of calling this city ours. By now, we knew Melbourne pretty well, but still felt that we could assign ourselves the ‘tourist tag’.

The Langham Hotel - Melbourne - Australia

Darkfield Productions - Arts Centre - Melbourne - Australia

To justify our newfound sense of local tourism, I’d armed us with a couple of Christmas vouchers: one for a Darkfield experience, an immersive audio event that uses 360-degree surround sound and total darkness to toy with your senses inside a purpose-built shipping container (yes, really),  and another for Rare Steakhouse Downtown, a place we’d walked past for years, always promising ourselves that one day we’d go in.

Well, as it turns out, “one day” had finally arrived.

I think the idea for the Melbourne staycation first came courtesy of Aiden, who strongly advocated for a hotel stay “with a pool” sometime after we returned from Penang. The notion was left to simmer for a while, but once the new year rolled around, the idea of a brief mental escape from the grind suddenly felt appealing. After a bit of poking around we settled on the Langham, a high-end hotel perched on the banks of the Yarra River that gave us direct access to Southbank and the CBD. Being just a 15 min drive from North Melbourne, it really felt like we were visiting our backyard.

Staycation benefits

I admit, right up front I could see the benefits of what the staycation would allow:

·       Classic escapism

·       No need for a ridiculous amount of preparation

·       Familiarity with out surrounds

·       Flexibility in scheduling

·       Cost-effectiveness

So off we went, arriving at the Langham in the early afternoon, and promptly dropping Inga off at her Darkfield experience which she loved. The rest of the afternoon was devoted to the pool, which, given the merciless 40-degree heat, felt like a small slice of paradise. The Aperol Spritzes didn’t hurt either and in those early hours, I could practically feel my internal framework recalibrating, grudgingly acknowledging the perks of a backyard holiday, because against all prior cynicism, it was starting to feel like a proper break after all.

Art Centre - Melbourne - Australia

The Langham Hotel - Melbourne - Australia

The Langham Hotel - Melbourne - Australia

St Kilda Rd, outside the Arts Centre  - Melbourne - Australia

Reservations for dinner that evening was set at the Rare Steakhouse Downtown, a place, which they themselves say ‘offers a refined, yet inviting dining experience, seamlessly blending sophistication and warmth’. House in a three-story heritage building, the interior features a harmonious mix of exposed brick walls, timber floors and contemporary lighting fixtures. It felt warm, inviting and comfortable from the outset, which when accompanied by the excellent food and equally as good red wine, made for an extremely pleasant evening.

Ludlow Bar & Dining Room - Southbank - Melbourne - Australia

Rare Steakhouse Downtown - Melbourne - Australia

Rare Steakhouse Downtown - Melbourne - Australia

Stealing a kiss whilst on holiday - Melbourne - Australia

Melbourne in Summer

Melbourne has a vibe all year round, but in summer it honestly feels like the city’s own little festival. I suspect it’s our southerly position that makes us treat these months like precious currency , doing everything possible to squeeze the most out of them. Add in the city’s endless calendar of sporting events, and it’s no wonder Melbourne seems to hit peak energy in the season. Late January is all about the Australian Open, and for that fortnight, the city practically glows with the excitement of having the world’s eyes trained on it.

That evening, we wandered down the Yarra, pausing at Ponyfish Island before making our way to Arbory Afloat. Watching small boats drift lazily up and down the river, feeling the pulse of the city around us, there was a perfect blend of holiday frivolity and local energy, the kind of mix that makes a staycation feel like a proper escape. And yes, I was finally starting to appreciate the upside of staying home, conveniently selling myself the fantasy of being an “option-poor local” while secretly enjoying the luxury of having it all on our doorstep.

Arbory Afloat - Melbourne - Australia

Arbory Afloat - Melbourne - Australia

Heading for home

On the morning, we were scheduled to head back home, we tried to pack in as much as we possibly could. Acceding to Aiden’s request of heading to the pool for the morning, it was ‘Dad’s duty’ to support the little action machine in the pool whilst ‘Mum’ did her duty of relaxing on a sun bed. I’ll get my own day in the sun….one day.

Checking out of the Langham, I had lined Inga up for an afternoon massage, a little indulgence to keep the holiday vibe going  but first, we made a detour to a café on Spencer Street that had been on my radar for a while: Higher Ground. Housed in a heritage-listed former power station, the place oozes industrial-chic charm, with 15-metre-high ceilings, exposed brick walls, and expansive arched windows that flood the space with light. Six interconnected levels wrap around the original structure, creating a series of intimate, tiered platforms that, to me, perfectly capture what Melbourne is all about. It’s the kind of aesthetic that first drew me to the city, the exact counterpoint to what Sydney was offering a decade ago when I finally decided to leave.

Higher Ground - Melbourne - Australia

Higher Ground - Melbourne - Australia

Squeezing every last drop out of our short staycation, accompanied by a few glasses of sparkling, we reflected on what had been a surprisingly satisfying break, the sort we’d spent far too long internally scolding ourselves for considering. Safe to say, Melbourne had converted me: a staycation, done right, can genuinely feel like a holiday. So, if you’re contemplating a little escape from your reality, whether you’re time-poor, cash-poor, or simply energy-poor , look no further than your own city. Take it from me: the Elisher Seal of Approval has been officially granted for this option, and no, it won’t feel like taking your cousin to the dance.

Melbourne (Australia) - Locked out - the pandemic special - COVID-19 recap

Melbourne (Australia)

20 March - 01 November 2020

In a way COVID-19 has given us all a break from our respective realities, or perhaps more fittingly, what we thought our reality was. These days it appears that there really isn't a 'normal' and there's not a piece of the puzzle that we can see that fits the image we were carefully crafting. Our vernacular has morphed too. It now encompasses all elements of what the pandemic enforced upon us. We've been surrounded by terms such as unprecedented, new-normal, social distancing, lockdown, curfew, sanitising, R number, flattening the curve, second wave, third wave, border restrictions, transmission rate.

Mind you, the year would have been oddball even without the 'Wuhan virus'. 

First, fires ripped through the eastern part of Australia from October 2019 all the way into March 2020. With devastating consequences to all communities down the coastline, day turned into night,  ash hazes engulfed our major cities, fauna was decimated and sadly, lives were lost.

Most recently we've had the pleasure of experience floods in both South-East QLD & North-Eastern NSW. A combination of La Nina and climate change has impacted our coastline and again brought to our attention just how fragile and insignificant we can be when it comes to mother nature

In the US, Donald Trump became the third President to be impeached. He totally ignored the Black Lives Matter  movement and then literally said, regarding the election, 'I'll only accept the outcome of the election if I win, if I don't, then the result will be a sham, a fraud perpetrated on the American people by a corrupt and criminal Democratic Party'.  I think we're all still waiting to get our head around the temerity, or perhaps the plain churlish and boorish display of the Commander in Chief of the free world!  LOL - when you say that out aloud it sounds as ludicrous as it reads.

But of course, the star of the year was COVID-19. It occupied our every waking hour, and the waking hours of those that took over our shifts, for months. Nightly news simply became a summarised version of daily COVID-19 topics. Our weekend rituals of catching up with mates, having a drink and catching a game were all blunted, and then culled by an insidious virus whose ability to jump from one host to the next was 'unprecedented'.

For this reason I wanted to capture my own snapshots of 2020. A year where holidaying at home was enforced, where working form home was required and when going out for a simple walk was was restricted to a radius of 5kms from your place of residence.

Here's to a wacky 2020!

21 March 2020 - Riga International airport - Riga - Latvia

With lots of worry, extended phone calls, ridiculous sums paid for airfares, Inga's family made it back to Latvia, via a stop in Istanbul. Here's their photo of the international airport. It's the scene you'd imagine yourself seeing from those that had survived the apocalypse. Check-in desks empty, the departure hall devoid of life. It's almost absurd.

22 March 2020 - Southbank - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Sunday morning in Melbourne, this was out new normal. It felt like I was living out my own personal scene from Vanilla Sky.

27 March 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Happy 1st birthday to Aiden Robert Elisher!

For him COVID-19 was about cake, presents, parents being at home and endless amounts of attention.

27 March 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Aiden's 1st birthday - Are you getting an Elmo theme vibe?

At this point I don't even think he knew who or what Elmo was. Roll forward 6 months and there's cries of 'Noooooo' as soon as the Sesame Street channel needs to take its evening hiatus.

30 March 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Milestones and celebrations went indoors. Inga's birthday became a dine-in event and something that we needed to become accustomed to in the months that followed. The first few months were a sort of novelty and not nearly as brutal as when the second wave hit Melbourne, but that's a lockdown tale that I'll mention a little later.

30 March 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Celebrating indoors.

31 March 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

The fragility of the 'mental state' is on full display here. This is still very early on in the piece and we're already conjuring up moments of 'hilarity'??? 

10 April 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - looking down Flinders Street - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

This is what a Friday night now looked like. Empty streets, totally surreal.

19 April 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Another Sunday morning indoors. This became a favourite place to look down at the trains, count carriages, count the number of Uber Eats riders and marvel at the lack of traffic on the Kings Way.

19 April 2020 - Middle Park Beach - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

When the sun came out then most people would head out. I think Melbourne generally had a problem with social distancing, like it wasn't in their DNA or something. We'd be bombarded daily with health messages regarding the 1.5mtrs rule, sanitising, staying at home if you were feeling unwell, etc.,  but out on the beach it people simply felt as though they were immune to real world events.

25 April 2020 - Duckboard Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Inga and I started a little Saturday evening tradition. It would involve buying a few steaks from the Hereford Beefstouw, who were acting as our local butcher, and then picking up a few takeaway cocktails from Romeo Lane on Bourke St. It gave us (me) something to look forward to during the week, especially when working from home meant that the only days I'd really leave the house were on Saturdays to pick up our evening feast and on Sundays when I took Aiden out for a walk.

25 April 2020 - Duckboard Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

17 May 2020 - Fitzroy Gardens - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Certainly one of my favourite parts of the week, even more so on the days when Melbourne managed to turn on the weather. This day was a good one, and with that said, Fitzroy Gardens has to be one of the best inner city parks of any capital city in Australia.

17 May 2020 - Fitzroy Gardens - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

17 May 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

All washed and clean, almost ready for the nightly ritual of trying to put an active baby to bed. Not one of the best parts of the day! Sometimes he hits the bed and its like the rebel in him just wants to riot. He'll do everything in his power to keep that body of his from hibernating...but there's one thing I know that I have over him for right now, I have adult staying power, which means I can outlast the will of a toddler (I think).

20 May 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Another morning at the window, another day of spotting trains and picking up movement and signs of life on the streets.

23 May 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Yet another Saturday night in, but at least this was entertaining. Powderfinger reuniting for their 'One Night Lonely' event.  Somewhat shorter than anticipated, five songs in total, but hell, Powderfinger in lockdown was just the tonic that we needed.

26 May 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Sunday morning looking down Flinders Street. Of course there were days like this when I was in the midst of doing assignments and the whole office/view set up was an almost pleasurable experience. 

Playground - Birrarung Mar - Yarra River - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Many of the walks with Aiden would end up in the playground on the north side of the Yarra, relatively close to Fed Square. It's a cliche to say that 'My enjoyment comes from seeing his enjoyment' but hey, why not live in the truth of that cliche for a while longer.

08 June 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

02 July 2020 - On the road to the Yarra Valley - Victoria

Between bouts of lockdown somehow the easing of restrictions coincided with our anniversary and my birthday. The timing was perfect! It allowed us to get outside of Melbourne for a few days and celebrate accordingly.

02 July 2020 - Four Pillars Gin Distillery - Healesville - Yarra Valley - Victoria - Australia

The best gin in Australia, without question....and it was calling me in for a birthday Negroni!

Domaine Chandon Winery - 727 Maroondah Highway - Coldstream - Victoria - Australia

Birthday bubbles and frolicking on the grounds of Domaine Chandon. I'll take that in the 'new normal'.

Domaine Chandon Winery - 727 Maroondah Highway - Coldstream - Victoria - Australia

Domaine Chandon Winery - 727 Maroondah Highway - Coldstream - Victoria - Australia

How happy is that 45th birthday!!!

Considering the way of the world it was slightly out of the ordinary.

25 July 2020 - Yarra River - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Mandatory mask wearing came into effect during the month of July. Another odd experience in this year of unprecedented occurrences. Not only were we asked to stay within 5kms of our places of residence but now we were all accomplices in the latest Melbourne bank robberies.

25 July 2020 - Yarra River - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

When Melbourne turns on the weather you feel like you've picked up a small win at the TAB. Those are the days when you say out aloud, 'Melbourne, if only you were like this more often...I could love you forever'. The only active participants in this photo were Inga and Aiden, on the banks of the Yarra looking for ducks, I assume.

25 July 2020 - Flinders Street - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

No traffic, no pedestrians and only red lights.

COVID-19 wear, masks in sleek, slimming black.

25 July 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Saturday afternoon, getting everything together for our steak night ritual. The empty streets had us wondering what the hell everyone else was actually doing.

26 July 2020 - Fitzroy Gardens - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

A typical COVID-19 photo coming out of the COVID epicentre of Australia.

Mandated and masked. Dan spoke, we listed and had to implement.

08 August 2020 - Flinders Street - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

I had to take these photos. Although now common place, I knew there would come a time in the not too distant future when shots such these would simply amaze us.

08 August 2020 - Bourke Street - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Bourke Street on a Saturday afternoon, a ghost town waiting for its new owners to come in and take over.

08 August 2020 - Romeo Lane Bar - 1A Crossley Street - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Our Saturday night saviour. The takeaway cocktails from Romeo Lane gave us that little pep in our weekly off-beat step. I actually enjoyed turning up to the relatively nondescript entrance, knocking on the door and pretending that this was some type of clandestine exchange in the era of prohibition. I was also surprised that on each occasion I was met by a person not wearing a mask, like they were somehow playing along with the fantasy in my mind.

13 August 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria  - Australia

There were nights when the lack of movement on the streets was truly a sight worth capturing.

15 August 2020 - Birrarung Mar - Yarra River - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Simple pleasures. Taking a stroll along the river on a Saturday afternoon became a favourite pastime.

16 August 2020 - Birrarung Mar - Yarra River - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Just hanging out, kicking around a ball, watching the trains, enjoying the sun and having some time with my son. There are moments that will always stick out in your mind.

16 August 2020 - Batman Avenue - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Tranquil, peaceful and somewhat disturbing. A Sunday afternoon with not a vehicle or a person in sight. At this point Melbourne was being hammered by the pandemic. By mid-August we'd either just hit, or just come off our highest daily infection rate in terms of new case numbers. New restrictions were being placed on us each day and the economy was on life support.

16 August 2020 - Birrarung Mar - Yarra River - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Along the banks of the Yarra. Aiden and I had the place to ourselves.

22 August 2020 - Hoisier Lane - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

I found myself walking past the 'never deserted' Hoisier Lane, only to find that I was the only person in the frame. Of course the rain had an impact but there you have it, person free.

22 August 2020 - Hoisier Lane - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

22 August 2020 - Hoisier Lane - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

29 August 2020 - Flinders Street Station - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

The deafening sound of an empty vessel.

29 August 2020 - Flinders Street Station - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

It use to be when someone said, 'I'll meet you on the stairs of Flinders St Station', that you would still think, 'How the hell will I see them amongst that crowd?'.

Guess what?

I found you.

30 August 2020 - Flinders Street Station - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Sunday afternoon on Flinders Street.

30 August 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Somewhere about this time Aiden's obsession with pans started. Of course the impetus for the pan fetish was sparked by our Saturday evening steak night, but now he was taking his pans to 'another level'.

08 September 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Sometime during the month of August Inga & I made the decision to relocate. At that time the restrictions in Melbourne had no foreseeable end. The hospitality industry had been totally decimated and for Inga that meant that there was simply no available. Our tenants in Surfers Paradise were coming to the end of their lease and it just felt like the perfect time to make the move to a state where COVID was just a dirty word that described  the goings on south of the border.

12 September 2020 - Queen Street - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Empty trams on the way to Queen Victoria markets. This became part of my Saturday ritual after the Hereford Beefstouw shut their doors. I'd head to the markets and pick up our steaks for the evening. Again, this was something I really enjoyed doing. It got me out of the apartment for that one-time per week and I didn't have the hassle of having to squeeze into a crowded space.

26 September 2020 - Birrarung Marr - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

One of my favourite photos. Not for the composition or quality of photo but just because of what it represented to us. Living on Flinders Street one of Aiden's favourite things to do was watch the trains go by and mimic their sounds. These stairs, looking out onto the railway line and over to the MCG was where we would head to on a Sunday afternoon in order to watch the trains and the trams, wave at them both, and hopefully get one of them to blow their horns for us. 

26 September 2020 - Birrarung Marr playground - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

A Saturday afternoon at the playground.

26 September 2020 - Birrarung Marr playground - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

COVID friendly interactions whilst on the swings.

26 September 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

A beautiful display over the Yarra. On days like this you could almost forgive everything.

27 September 2020 - Birrarung Marr - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Enjoying Sunday afternoon with my favourite person in the whole world!

11 October 2020 - Birrarung Marr - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Sunday afternoon playground capers. 

This was fun weekend. I'd just finished a major assignment and was procrastinating the need to start my final major assignment for the year. Sunday afternoons like these were way more enjoyable than thinking about Cybersecurity Risk Management.

2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria -  Australia

During COVID the Breslin Bar & Grill in Southbank turned into a mini-market on Saturdays and Sundays. After I'd venture to Queen Victoria markets in order to pick up our steaks for a Saturday night, I'd head down to the Breslin in to pick up a Saturday night tipple. In all honesty, the Black truffle Negroni was my least favourite of what they had on offer but still, Saturday night drinks soooo good!

 

17 October 2020 - Docklands Park - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

You can't take the Rock Star out of the boy!

30 October 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

'Where are we going again?' - 'I don't care, I just like boxes!'

30 October 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

This is the Melbourne sign that we purchased from Electric Confetti, (a fantastic neon sign shop in Brighton who produced it for us, they also do custom designs).This sign was specifically designed for our Melbourne apartment, and that's where it will stay. 

Personally, I would have really wanted to stay in Melbourne myself,  and certainly we tried, but COVID-19 had other plans for us and the real estate prices in the suburbs we wanted to be in had pushed us out of those markets. Of course COVID brought those prices back down but by that time our decision had been made. So it was 'Adios'

Thank you Melbourne! You were more than we imagined, and you gave us much more than we ever expected.

31 October 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Our last Saturday evening in Katherine Place - Steak Nights 'R' Us

31 October 2020 - Fitzroy Gardens - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Last time in the gardens too.

01 November 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

Aiden doing the final bit of cleaning prior to us heading north for two weeks of quarantine in sunny Brisbane.

01 November 2020 - 2110/7 Katherine Place - Melbourne - Victoria - Australia

I have to say an absolutely 'massive' thank you to my fabulous wife!

As I'd been in the midst of trying to complete my final assignment, and work, she was the one that dismantled, packed and boxed absolutely everything. It was an enormous task and she did it all on her own!!!