Please utilise this space to search this blog

Showing posts with label Zumanity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zumanity. Show all posts

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Las Vegas (USA) - You will be owned!



Las Vegas (USA)
19 January - 21 January 2017

The moment you exit your aircraft and hit the end of the aero-bridge at McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas you literally know that you’re ‘not in Kansas anymore’, poker machines, AKA, slot machines align your walk to the baggage carousel. Flashing lights, carnival sounds, the promise of riches with the strike of a lucky coin. The allure of Vegas is both pervasive and immediate. For however long you intend to stay, it will own you and more then, more than likely, you will be owned.

Without question Vegas is all show but that’s what makes it cool. Certainly it’s not charming. Unashamedly gaudy and brash, I wouldn’t think that anyone could survive more than 3 days full-time on the strip. Your senses are cleansed by the constant light and you’re coerced to forget your natural time clock and just keep going for as long as your body and will takes you.

Now my question is, What do you do with a non-gambler in Vegas?

The fear-factor that accompanied Inga’s visit to Vegas aligned with her equally intense notion of not losing money. I’m not sure if she fully realised the intensity of this town, you are gambling immersed for however long you stay. In fact everything attacks you in Vegas, all vices, all at once from every angle. Your choice to partake or not is solely the battle you have with your will against the questions that this town inevitably asks of you.

Being on a budget we decided to stay at the Motel 6 Las Vegas on East Tropicana. Not quite as bad as it sounds, just an average, comfortable and clean room. Off the strip but not too far.

So what else is there to do in Vegas if you don’t gamble? Well, for us there of course was drinking and the shows.

The shows in Vegas are amazing. So many top quality attractions competing against each other for your money, the level of production, the concepts and the talent needed to execute, all located in relatively small area, has to make this one of the most creative hot spots around.


Blue Man Group @ the Luxor - Las Vegas - Nevada - USA

Blue Man Group @ the Luxor - Las Vegas - Nevada - USA

So a 'Blue Man' decided to photo bomb us!

Blue Man Group @ the Luxor - Las Vegas - Nevada - USA


Whilst we were there we took in the Blue Man Group show,  which basically is creative performance art and music. As a production it’s been around since 1987 and the performances are a combination of comedy, theatre, improvisation and music.

Another one of the great shows we saw was Zumanity, this is a caberet style show produced by Cirque de Soleil which had residency at the New York, New York Casino. Basically it is an ‘adult themed’ show whose central tenets are erotic song, acrobatics, comedy and dance. A show billed as showing the ‘Sensual side of Cirque de Soleil’,  I have to say that both of us found this the most enjoyable, most creative and just genuinely fun.


The Strip - Las Vegas - Nevada - USA

The Strip - Las Vegas - Nevada - USA

The Strip - Las Vegas - Nevada - USA


But to tell the story of Zumanity I need to roll back a few hours of that day in particular and take myself to a place that instigated my deep slide into a disco inferno. An evening within the fire pit of hell and with pain so intense that I was on the verge of signing up for a ride to the emergency ward.


Zumanity by Cirque de Soleil @ New York, New York - Las Vegas - Nevada - USA


The place was Diablo’s Cantina, 3770 Las Vegas Blvd. There was a challenge at Diablo’s that been goading me since my last occasion in Sin City back in 2011 with Jet. Basically the challenge that I decided to skip out on last time but coaxed myself into during a YOLO life moment was the Death Wings Challenge.  In this challenge participants are allowed 20 minutes to consume 20 Death Wings. Death wings huh? So what is this? Is it like consuming 20 Hot & Spicy wings from KFC or drinking 10ml of Tobasco straight? F*** No! That stuff is for complete amateurs. This my friends is the big leagues where the waiver you sign is to acknowledge that if you die its due to your own stupidity and based on the understanding that the chance of death was expressed and fully understood.

THE CHALLENGE: 20 Death Wings – in 20 minutes.

The wings are served in Diablo’s Death Sauce, a blend of Ghost Chilli extract and Habanero puree.

Additional assistance – plastic gloves, milk and napkins. Other than that, it’s all on you.

In all honesty, before I commenced the challenge I thought that I’d get 1 or 2 into the contest and tap out. Perhaps I should have, but, I had my fiancée with me and I needed to show a moderate amount of kahunas, especially with my standard bravado and tolerance for spicy food.

With the clock on I took a swing at contestant #1. The heat factor was high. Commencing at a 6 but quickly escalating to na 8, I thought my heat tolerance was going to be like a shooting star, ‘burnt bright, short lived’. Somehow I pushed onto wing #2, the heat factor now raged at 9 and capsaicin in the chilli instigated a robust period of hiccups, my body’s own defence mechanism to stop me from pushing on with this stupidity, which of course I ignored. Now, with a fire storm raging in my mouth, my nose running like an open fire hydrant and the factor 50 wild sauce burning my skin, I was in the midst of a burning torrent of capsaicin torment. Still, I pushed through and got to wing #4. This was the point where the pain almost become overwhelming. My urge to push through was not even close to my desire to quell the burn and it was only by some ghastly, and unnecessarily opportunistic second wind that I actually made it to the half way point.

The aggression of the Ghost Chilli extract was terribly real. It did not f*** around. I made the rational choice and laid down my guns at the midway point, my honour intact, no desperately flattered but not hurt.  Little did I know however the real pain that would accompany my ride throughout the night. I was going to get blindsided!

Heading back to the point that I made earlier on Zumanity, the production, the comedy and our enjoyment of the show was tempered, for me, by some extreme heartburn that was no coming on. It was hitting me in waves, sometimes moderate and occasionally very painful. I tried to suppress it as best I could and was, for the most part successful. In fact it wasn’t until we went to our later show, another production by Cirque de Soleil, based on the music, moved and talent of Michael Jackson, that I was hit with an extreme level of pain. With my heartburn escalating I now also felt the urge coming from the back end, and let me tell you know, there’s nothing quite like that feeling of a Ghost Chilli ring of fire when you’re sitting on the throne. In the words of Johnny Cash, ‘I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, down, And the flames went higher, And it burns….the ring of fire, the ring of fire’.

I made several returns to the bathroom Luxor bathroom that evening, on each occasion walking back to the theatre like a pensioner, in a slow, challenged and in some ways obsolete manner.


A burning escape - McCarran Airport - Las Vegas - Nevada - USA

McCarran Airport - Las Vegas - Nevada - USA


When the Michael Jackson production of One by Cirque de Soleil end, Inga somehow bundled me into a cab and got me back to the hotel.

I spent that evening in the fetal position, crunched up and praying for the raging heartburn to subside. It was brutal. I was literally within 5 mins of making a call to head to emergency when finally my body started to win the battle and the viciousness of the pain started to dissipate. Somewhere around 5am I drifted into a tempered sleep, revising the stupidity of undertaking a challenge that caused that much pain and that I spent $35 undertaking.

…And that my friends was the Real Las Vegas  experience. Shows, alcohol and stupidity. What happens in Vegas should really stay there but unfortunately the left the show with my O-ring lit up like the good ‘ole firecracker night back in the day.

We’ll see you next time Vegas. The next time we return both us of us will be just that much more the wiser!