Ha Long Bay - The Frelisher love nest, WTF?

Ha Long Bay (Vietnam)

So there I was, sitting on the middle deck of an old converted, see ‘tricked out’, junk called the Bhaya, overlooking the serene, misty and I’d need to add, almost mystical surroundings of what is Ha Long Bay. Large, irregular limestone rocks, cliffs and hills or however you’d like to refer to them, jutting out of the calm waters somewhere near the Gulf of Tonkin. It’s a more than apt place to be a little reflective and allow your mind to drift off into the thoughts and images of your own calling. Although the setting that I describe is already a little late in the day ,(for this day at least) as it misses some critical checkpoints that got Jet and myself here in the first place, so lets backtrack a little and find out where it all went wrong.

The annoying sound of the radio going off at 6:00am served almost immediately as a reminder of what we should not have been doing about 2-3hrs earlier. Jet and I were in that comatose security blanket that only alcoholic punishment can bring to the table. It’s funny, in these situations pending commitments are always mentally traded off against the time you have assured yourself was available, meaning, that you always seek the least amount of time possible to make a deadline and then deduct another 20mins from that lowest amount. On this day our goal was to get ready for an 8:30am pick-up which was to take us out to Ha Long Bay for a two day - one night cruise. As was now becoming a morning ritual, the headaches, dry mouths, extended nausea and dizziness were par for the course after another boisterous Hanoi evening escapade. We did our best of course, tried to get ourselves motivated and even threw a little AC/DC into the mix for inspiration, and somehow, by our own steely resolve, we mustered up some internal fortitude and delved into our energy reserves of God knows what in order to make it to the breakfast table and then converted that to an 8:30am minivan pick up from the front of the hotel

Ha Long Bay is about a 3-4 hour run south-east of Hanoi. Personally the scenery outside of the minivan window for me was the occasional mental snapshot taken between sleeping most of the way out there, from that perspective however it was a pleasant run and one that mentally took only a third of the time in my mind than was actually the case. Now, to fill in those that may not know much about Ha Long Bay, it goes a little something like this, this place is a UNESCO World Heritage site and is basically a vast area (1550kms squared) that features thousands of limestone karts and isles (1960 approx) in various shapes and sizes. It features a dense cluster of monolithic islands, each topped with jungle vegetation, rising spectacularly and quite haphazardly from the ocean. The formation of the area, geologists’ state, was derived from a combination of orogeny (huge tectonic plate shifts), marine regression and marine transgression over a period of nearly 500 million years. In short, the place is visually spectacular and it’s absolutely no surprise that this place was pushing hard to be recognised as one of the seven natural wonders of the world.

After a little bit of a mix up with drop off points, I think our driver had less information than we did, we finally found the Bhaya café, where in turn we were given a briefing before jumping onto small launches and ferried out to the Bhaya junk which was anchored a couple of hundred metres offshore. As we pulled up to the back of the junk all the crew were basically on deck awaiting our arrival and as we climbed on board and walked into the reception area we were showered with rose petals. Kind of kitsch welcome but also kind of cool at the same time.

The Bhaya - Ha Long Bay - Vietnam

Crew introductions on the Bhaya

On arrival we were all ushered up to the top deck where the dining area was situated. The crew was again lined up for us and we were introduced to them individually, which was a nice touch. I think Jet already had his eye on the young Vietnamese teen queen that was to be the ‘masseur’ for the next few days , ‘aha, a happy time to be had I’m sure’. What I did find amusing is that the French manager then started calling out the family names of all the guests on board in order to hand our cabin keys, and then for some reason also decided to add their country of origin for good measure. So it went something like, ‘…and in Room 109 we have the Messoti’s from Italy!’, for a split second it felt like the start of a Van Damme movie, akin to the name roll call out in Bloodsport , everyone eyeing off the other contestants, seeing if they could gauge anything from their appearance, walk and general presentation before the big showdown (whatever the hell that was going to be? Maybe we were going to have an Iron Chef type international session on the top deck at some point).

So the wooden junk had obviously had a major overhaul since its last commercial operating days. Having two main accommodation decks where the cabins were located and an upper deck for dining, the junk was built and furnished in a distinctly oriental style (no surprise huh), the cabins themselves were quite spacious considering the size of the boat. The main window looking out of the room was also quite large which in turn could be slid open in order for the occupants to be able to soak up the elements, and whilst the bathroom was compact, it was still quaint and functional. The only issue or problem the Jet and I had was the ‘double bed’ smack bang in the middle of the room,ah yeah! This all of a sudden changed the desired environment from a simple ‘bro getaway’ to a type of Frelisher love nest. Not right by any stretch of the imagination but something that needed to be dealt with with a good ‘ole cup of HTFU - we’d just have to suck it up and get over the close proximity.

The Frelisher love nest!!!?? WTF?????

As the junk gently starting carving its way through the waters of Ha Long Bay and the sun cut through the mist that had blanketed the limestone formations until that time, we settled back and enjoyed the sights that were being offered. I’ve got to say, other than being a truly beautiful and intriguing place the cruise for the remainder of the afternoon was just the type of relaxing environment I needed. Quite a few times I sat out on the main deck with either a coffee or a drink in hand, the sun warming up my face, taking in the surroundings and entertaining myself with my own thought skipping and shaping. There’s not enough money in the world that can buy that kind of relaxed introspection.

Cruising on Ha Long Bay

Ha Long Bay - Vietnam

A few hours out from the city of Ha Long Bay we stopped off at a local fishing village which basically looked like a row of small cottages, colourfully painted, built on top of large buoyant barrels and wooden platforms. I’d imagine that if the place ever froze over then the only difference between this place and a comparative location, say in the northern part of Hudson Bay would be the total count on the number of ‘eh’s’ and ‘aboots’ that you’d hear, oh, and the fact that these guys are Vietnamese and the Hudson Bay locals are good ole fashioned Canadians. In any case we were able to jump off the Bhaya for a while and were transferred to the fishing village by small launch and then into local row boats. It was interesting to cruise around this area which was quite sheltered from the elements by the huge limestone cliffs and I’m sure in turn would make a great weekend getaway, if you ever had that inclination.

Area near the fishing village - Ha Long Bay

Late afternoon and early evening on the boat was another relaxed affair. Jet crashed out in the room for a while whilst I took in the sunset from the top deck and also got caught up in a spring roll making/cooking and eating class for good measure. Just for the hell of it, and so I can remember it down the track, I’ve included the recipe and methodology below (well actually I was going to but I noted that it would take up too much space, so stuff it, I’ll include it somewhere else).

Frichot in 'pose down' on the Bhaya

Upper deck on the Bhaya

As the night set in I made friends with the barman and had a few cocktails out on the main deck, another great experience as all you could hear was the lapping of the water against the boat and the only things you could see were the large silhouette’s of limestone karts against the night sky. As my list of drowned cocktails grew and the hours slipped on by, I had worked my way into the Bhaya dining hour with the aplomb, dexterity and expertise of senior ‘playa’. Jet had also awoken from his slumber just in time to encounter the several courses that the Bhaya had on offer for dinner, I think it went something like oysters & prawns, pumpkin soup, fish, cheese and crackers, tiramisu etc. By the time it was all over Jet and I had waved the white flag in defeat and we made the call to underline and punctuate this day with sleep relatively early. After several three to four hour turn around most days, the 22nd of Dec 2009 had our measure and we retired to the Frelisher love nest for much needed recovery.

Frichot, out on the Ha Long high seas!

Relaxed and taking it all in