18 FEB - 22 FEB 2011
I'd been to Los Angeles twice before, once when I was five years old and the second time when I was 16. I hadn't enjoyed Los Angeles as a city on the last occasion, I found it to be particularly decentralized and in my mind it had nothing particularly appealing about it other than cheap manufactured amusement and entertainment. It had a ‘run down’ sense about, kind of haggard, particularly dirty and if you didn’t have yourself a car then ‘best of luck’ in trying to make your way around the city. I thought all this to myself as we drove into West Hollywood from the airport. This however was Jets first time in the USA and therefore it was also his LA debut. With all my impressions tainted by two earlier experiences I couldn't very well go and spoil the surprise for him by telling him exactly what I thought, could I? Don't worry, I was cool about it, I didn't but damn did I want to!
Staying on Melrose Ave in West Hollywood we appeared to be quite central to all things Hollywood related and also therefore the nightlife and night moves of the Sunset strip. Leaving ourselves to recover a few hours from the harrowing experience of 'when babies attack' aboard flight VA008 from Sydney, we ventured out into the early evening streets of LA in order to see what it had to offer. What you notice almost immediately whilst in this urban wasteland is the proliferation of cars and the distinct lack of pedestrian traffic. What we also noticed is that LA had decided quite uncharacteristically to put some kindly weather on for the Sydney boys and with Frichot being his usual Aquarian self, he saw it in his best interests not to pack a jumper or jacket for a Winter sojourn through North America. Sometimes I wonder as to how Aquarians make there way through life, well, that's until I notice that somehow they always manage to land on their feet and therefore for me, being a Cancerian, sometimes I just need to cope with the fine tuned art of ‘chillin’
Our first port of call in this town of angels was Pink's diner. It is one of the favourite places for the LA connoisseur of all things ‘midnight delight’ and hot dog related. On first viewing their menu looked epic! Any combination you could think of was either thrown onto a bun or wrapped in a tortilla with either one, two or three hot dogs piled high with ingredients such as chili, bacon, chicken or pork and lathered in liquidised Monterrey cheese, guacamole, sour cream, ketchup, mustard or any numbers of sauces. The end result of this cardiac arrest in waiting is a meal of monolithic proportions that resembled a car crash of competing ingredients. To tell you the truth, on first sighting the results looked evily fiendish, the exact way that you'd want to commence your culinary journey through the gastronomic delights of LA. Cutting a swathe through the food explosion on the plate was interesting, fluorescent colours startled the eyes, strange mixes of condiments confused the taste buds and the residence that the completed dog occupied in our bowels stayed with us for at least several days post the apocalyptic event. Still, it was an LA experience to be had and in a certain way savoured. If this type of food was to be the way of the future, on this trip at least, then I'd better make the most of throwing myself in at the deep and getting use to it.
Pink's Diner - West Hollywood - Los Angeles - U.S.A
Your food comes with a bill from the cardiologist
Melrose Ave - Los Angeles - a 'Love shop', obviously!
As our first evening in LA moved on we made our way down to Sunset strip in order to check out the LA scene. The Strip is home to such places as the Viper room, The Roxy, Whiskey a go-go, the Ruby bar and the Rainbow bar. Jet had decided that for this evening we'd set up camp at the Rainbow bar, I guess for the off chance the lead singer from Motorhead would make an appearance, not as far fetched as it sounds either as apparently he is known to frequent to place quite regularly. So as always we did what comes naturally to us, we found ourselves a place at one of the three bars in the establishment and started drinking. As a place or a venue to hang out on a Friday evening I guess the Rainbow is OK. In that sense it’s got to be said that I'm a little different from the way Jet operates. He can pull up to a bar anywhere and strike up a conversation with most anyone within a matter of a few minutes, I on the other hands don't mind my own company and could easily sit down the end of a bar holding up and end for hours, probably not a bar like the Rainbow, it would probably need to be some place that had a pretty decent cocktail list, mood lighting and some a sweet lounge groove, but hey, you get my point. In any case, within no time at all we were chatting with people from Sweden, from states all over the USA and even the odd person that was born and bred in good 'ole LA. You see, now that's the way Jet always ends up saving my arse. Whilst I can't strike up a conversation to save my life when I'm eventually drawn into one I can usually maintain it and more often than not feel better for the chat. For quite a few hours we actually had a pretty good time with our new 'LA crew' until all of a sudden a blinding flash went off in the house, the likes of which I'd never seen before. Jet and I looked at each other and then checked the time, 1:30am! What the hell was going on? Was this some kind of drug bust or something? Apparently not! As we were quickly advised by our fellow cohorts, LA has a 1:30am cut-off for all alcohol service. The deal is that last drinks are called just before 1:30am and then you're meant to be out the door come 2am. The reason we were given for this, or rather the reason that the State of California has provided for this as direct result of the number of drink-driving accidents/fatalities that the city has had to endure in previous years. Nobody actually knows the statistics on whether or not this early morning close down has actually changed the result significantly but knowing that LA is distinctly a driving town it obviously put rhyme behind the reason of such a law. To powers of observation and deduction all this really meant was that people would be coerced into drink faster and in turn would be out on the roads at the same time in order to cause more accidents, although there's no data to support that hypothesis either.
Frichot with his Rainbow crew - Rainbow bar - Sunset Strip - LA
On the strip
Being escorted out of the Rainbow bar by a somewhat forceful security presence, Jet had his first encounter with a star of note, well, depending on what movies you're into. Apparently Ron Jeremy and his 16 inch none too insignificant buddy were in the house enjoying drinks and for a brief moment Jet passed his gaze the two locked eyes. I'm glad that it's all that they did. In any case as we busted out of the Rainbow we headed south down Sunset strip in order to see what else was on, which ended up not being too much. We did stop in a place called Mel's diner for a while and made our way through a healthy meal of chicken wings and fish & chips, just the treat for anyone that's moderately health conscious. Rolling in on the back of the deathly dogs from Pinks this was going to be just the thing to rid ourselves from the evil excesses from LA.
[Mels diner, the prelude]
[What to do in a LA cab at 3am]
Mels, what more needs to be added?
When Frichot starts pulling his wing chun moves on the street its time to...go to a strip joint...
Not that the evil excesses really stopped with food consumption, oh no, LA wouldn't justify itself with such a tag if only food was involved. Delving back into our memories from earlier that evening Jet had made it well known that at some point he'd be wanting to take on an LA strip club. As I said to him at the time and as I've said to many people, I don't know why but for some reason strip clubs just aren't my thing, there's really nothing appealing about them to me. On this occasion I admit however as to putting the idea to Jet for two reasons, one was to get out of the cold as it was damn freezing at 3am and the second was in order to let our first night in LA roll on, how can you justify a 3am curtain call on your first night? So we went and as predicted I had an average time but Jet seemed to enjoy himself, which considering the fact that this is his trip, it was alright with me.
Sometime close to 5am we arrived back at the Orbit hostel and crashed out, night one in LA both run and won with fairly reasonable results. When you're traveling however you can't rest on your laurels and really you only end up being as good as your last night out (insert cliche here), our lost angles just meant that it was going to be 'go time' again tomorrow.
[Johnny Rockets - LA. The ultimate in 'healthy living']
Sign says, stay away fools…
Cities can be amusing places huh. There's movement, weirdness, loneliness amongst vast oceans of people and there's also city icons. An icon, be it cultural or architectural says something specific about a place and whether it's good or bad at least it gives a city its trademark. In LA of course it's the Hollywood sign and somehow like two hopeless moths to a flame Frichot and I were drawn to 'the' representative sign of a city that specialises in take-away fantasy. I'm not sure when it was in our walk from Melrose to the Hollywood hills that we decided to actually make a visit to 'the sign' but all that I know was that our search for a better photo of this icon just drew us closer, and closer, so much so that our little walk ended into an epic 7-8km hike up into the Hollywood hills from our starting point in West Hollywood. Not that we didn't feel a little better for the exercises as our previous evenings excesses needed to be walked off somehow but when the rain started pelting down during the course of the walk neon signs starting flashing all around us, 'Bad idea boys - Bad idea boys'. A bemused local actually stopped to chat with us just as we reached our goal, although she stayed in the confines of her warm, dry vehicle. I could just see that look on her face and what it was spelling it, 'Bloody Australians, they really are a nation of idiots!'. Why yes ma am, yes we are.
We weren't even halfway there at this stage!
OK, 'Hollywood sign', check - now lets go home!
Universally appealing
The last couple of days of our LA sojourn were spent at at theme parks. The first being at Six Flags - Magic Mountain, where the 'all you could eat' roller coaster fest was just what I needed to get my adrenalin going again. Unfortunately my partner in crime is a little soft when it comes to roller coasters and he took a knee on this day, but really, what is there to fear that seems to be inherently present in attacking such fearsome tracks of doom as The Viper - [The Viper, up close and personal] , Rolling Thunder, Superman: 'The Ultimate Flight' or Bugaboo (OK, so that last one is soft). The only disconcerting part of the day was the endless well wishes and requests to have a 'Six Flag day'. I mean seriously, what kind of mental person came up with the concept such an irritating tag line that had to accompany every single transaction? Buy a drink, get some change and then get given a 'Thankyou sir, and have a Six Flag Day'. What the hell does that even mean? Have you run out of toilet paper in the bathroom sir? 'Here's 10 more rolls, and have a Six Flag Day'. Is there a superior type of etiquette or protocol that should accompany the Six Flag Day? Are these people suggesting that I should strive to reach the pinnacle of human existence by aspiring to have myself a day of six flags, is that what we should all be aspiring to?
Again, one of those photos that speaks for itself - Six Flags amusement park - Los Angeles - U.S.A
The dilemma of the ethically and morally perplexing questions posed by the Six Flag staff still haunted me the next day at Universal Studios. Thankfully for Frichot this was more of the scene that he was use to and I think this was his favourite day whilst in LA. I did manage to slyly get him onto a couple of roller coaster style rides, the result of which had him screaming like a little girl. That made my day!
Universal Studios - Los Angeles
A Pharoah like this would have scared the shit out of me!
[Universal studios - The Haunted House]
Thankfully our few days in Los Angeles ended quickly enough. Point blank, I have never been a fan of Los Angeles and it did nothing to win me over on this occasion either. Thankfully our next stop was going to be Las Vegas, a playground for the big boys, playas, wannabes and of course, The Frelisher show!
