Kuala Lumpur - KL Streetsmarts

JJ and I took it to the streets after a few hours spent indoors recovering from our flight. What initially commenced as a search for Petronas Towers and some incidental KL discovery turned into an impromptu pub crawl, well, as impromptu as two alcoholics could make it without actually colluding consciously.

I can't remember the name of the first place that we stopped but it was a warm up Carlsberg before making our way down the street to the Beach Bar for frozen margaritas of all shapes, colours and tastes.

The Stairway to heaven - Beach Bar - Kuala Lumpur

The Stairway to heaven wasn't the only ethereal offering at the Beach bar. This shot was actually inspired by some monk who had disappeared either up or behind the stairs after ripping me of via a faux blessing and associated trinket. I think it went something like, (Monk), 'I see a tourist, time to get my spiritual game on' - (Henry) 'Oh, how charming, a monk has chosen to offer me a blessing out of all these masses of equivalent dumbasses, (Monk), 'Locked in Eddie, insert fake cowshit blessing here, (Henry) 'Well, thanks Monkey, that was kind of amusing, (Monk) 'Ok, now for the scam. So the monk hands over his trinket after the blessing and starts almost humming, 'Money, money, money' - seriously, it sounding like a bee buzzing around my head although I knew that he was angling for some ringitt. The Monkey even suggested some BS amount before I parted with 1/20 of what he requested! Dude, it's a blessing, not a lesson in naivety. Ofcourse, it was a lesson of the later and after the little bastard disappeared I felt like chasing him down and shoving the trinket in his face with a request for a refund.

Onwards and upwards, and in doing so JJ and I found our way to another cool bar where cocktails were plentiful, delivered with some great alcohol content and generally provided us with that comfortable holiday vibe. We also managed to dodge a torrential downpour later in the evening, which was neither here nor there because we really weren't moving anytime soon, the margaritas were pretty damn good.

Our other partners in all this alcohol induced gave us a call a few hours later and invited us back to the beach bar for a continuation of festivities before heading off in search of some authentic Indian or Malayan food, whichever came first. From memory I believe the aim was to check out Little India but my memory fails me several months after the event, oh, to be 20, lively, spritely and to have my memory back.....now, where was I??

Lights on Petronas - Kuala Lumpur

We managed to get ourselves some reasonable food that night for 'cheap cheap' before heading back into Chinatown for what was inevitably going to be more drinking - it had to happen. By good fortune rather then design we stumbled across the Beatles Bar which happened to be, 'All Beatles, ALL the time' - apologies to Beatles fans, but the Fab Four tick me off, frankly I think they're average and their 'sameness' is infuriating but I can deal when I'm a few drinks down. What made this place tres cool however was not the music but the set up. Not only was there great alcohol on offer but it presented to us a fantastic Sheeshing opportunity with bare footed abandon, amongst plush cushions, close to the floor tables, and all others things Arabic - a far more Moroccan feel than was comfortable for KL, but I wasn't complaining.

Beatles Bar - in Chinatown - Kuala Lumpur

Jase getting his Sheesh on - Beatles Bar - Chinatown - Kuala Lumpur

The night ending up being fairly decent, inevitably long and one filled with that initial 'holiday vibe', you know, the one right at the start of proceedings where all things seem possible and that excited, chilled, 'I can do what I want, at will' vibe is still in the air. On this occasions I often to my own mental assessment on how things may fare or where they may fracture. All in all, the group seemed to be in good spirits but even then, like I didn't know before I left, that Jase would inevitably end up pissing me off...and I guess in the same manner I'd do the same thing to him...that in itself is probably another story left for another time and place. Lets just say that on this night we all finished up wondering back through Chinatown in the early hours with the lyrics of 'Yellow Submarine' firmly in the forefront of hours minds.

Kuala Lumpur - It's down the Alphaville

'Elisher X' wasn't too bad a ride for an no frills, fly by night, 'you pay for what you get' airline. I mean $750 return to Laos from Sydney is an insance result in anyone's books, although just checking on prices recently I've found that you can actually get into KL from Melbourne for $318 return !!? What the hell is going on with airfares, it's nuts ! Not that I'm complaining, just that I wish these airfares had been around earlier.

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In any case, JJ and I shared a three seater out of Melbourne, Jase and Audrey sat a row in front of us sharing another three seater. I few hours into the flight I made my way onto the floor underneath the seats, hijacked a bag for a pillow and 'hey presto', magical result. One of the most comfortable sleeps I've had on a flight for quite sometime. I've got to say, being 167cms has its benefits, not many, but this is certainly one of them.

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So Kuala Lumpur is considered to be a city of the world, or rather, an Alpha city. Basically its one of those cities that are deemed to be an important 'node point' within the context of the global economic system. I guess its importance is derived from its geography, financial linkages, its fit within the concept of globalisation etc. My first take on KL landing at the the Air Asia X budget terminal was what I expected, hot, humid and tropical in feel. Driving from the aiport into the city it was visible that there had been rapid expansion in the area for some time, there was distinct signs of urbanisation a fair way out of the city, as well as fairly large industrial complexes. I can't remember exactly when it was but I do recall sighting the iconic Petronas Towers a fair way out of the centre, considering that they were recognised at one point the tallests buildings on earth it's no suprise that they act as the 'beacon of KL'.

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The city centre visually is somewhat of a mixture of old worn, colonial style buildings, new modern tributes to consumerism and economic development, and then something else, an in between mixture that typifies that transition. We entered KL somewhere between 9 and 10 am, of course surrounded by vehicles of all sorts, traffic bountiful and I guess these days a 'right of passage' for a modern metropolis. Our digs for the next few days was to be the Swiss Inn in Chinatown. Relatively inexpensive, located right in the middle of the Chinatown action and close to most transport means it seemed to be an ideal location to do a little exploring before splitting for Lao in a few days.

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Our first task on arrival however was to negate the labyrinth of halls and doors that was the ground floor, and for that matter, the upper floors of the Swiss Inn. For the uninitiated it was quite confusing and could have been a potential frustration if we didn't have four minds on the orienteering task at hand....but hey, 'we're that good' and we sorted out our way in and to our rooms without anyone having a stroke. It was at this point that we chose to recover from our Elisher X experience, steal some Z's and rejuvinate our minds before hitting the streets to discover exactly what KL had to offer.

LAOS - where it began

The seed of the idea that germinated and established itself into a monstrous, grotesque comphor laurel came from a now redundant BA that I worked with 18 months ago. We were discussing my then pending trip to Vietnam and Cambodia when he mentioned an almost mythical, Apocolypse Now type of place that existed somewhere in the midst of their next door neighbour Laos. He made mention of river side bamboo bars, ridiculous swings, slides, endless parties and forgotten days. Needless to say, whilst the name of the guy remains lost to me for eternity, the idea remained and it was passed on to my travelling partner in crime, JC to investigate. We did find out via some well constructed YouTube and Google searches that the port of 'endless dreams' was Vang Vieng, basically a backpacker's pit stop, known for it's tubing and extra curricular activities, please see 'happy pizza' for ease of reference. In any case, there it was, the idea of Laos hatched in our small minds, left for review at another date.

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So the months passed on by and the fondness of our trip to Vietnam and Cambodia resurfaced on occassion with discussions of perhaps some day soon making a return to that part of the world. Then, on one fateful September evening, with the air heavy with discussion of Air Asia X and their ridiculous deals that they apparently seemed to be offering to their down under cousins, we drank, reminisced, drank some more, reminisced and then decided to blow apart the fact from fiction by visiting the Air Asia site in order to discover the reality of fuel levies, taxes, pillow case surcharges, arm rest subsidies etc. Through our alcohol induced haze, faulty calculations and travel bravado we managed to plot a course that would get use from Sydney to Vientiane via Melbourne and Kuala Lumpur for a tick over $700 AUD - "Bullsh*t", right !? Well my friends no, the fiction was of course fact. With adventure in our hearts and tequila in our mind we booked Laos on a wing and a prayer, and thus was born our journey into the Land of a Millions elephants.

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I have got to say, from the time of booking I was a little apprehensive at the travelling party make up. Not so much that initially it was only three people but due to the fact that JC's attitude towards me over the previous months had really started to piss me off and I really didn't know if I could hang out another six months before taking off without wanting to break his neck. Hmmm, now that line wasn't particularly diplomatic now was it ? Needless to say, it was true. I'm not quite sure how it came to pass but I managed to sell JJ on the idea of of joining us for 'Laoescapades' and so it was that on the evening of 02-MAR-09 , JJ, JC, Audrey and myself met at the Sydney domestic terminal to commence a journey to a land where UXO's are part of common venacular.

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Sydney domestic

It commonly goes like this, JC prefers to get to a point of departure 15 hours prior to what a reasonable arrival time might be, 'just in case', 'something' might happen. Who knows what the hell is going on in that brain but the control freak dial is somewhere up at 12, where mine is dialled back to a comfortable 8. The rest, well, they don't even register. I'm not sure JJ even knew what country we were going to prior to making it to the airport, let alone need to figure out the logistics of gate numbers and alike.

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Of course you may be asking why Sydney domestic and the simple answer is that Air Asia for the moment was only making the KL run out of Melbourne. A quick jump down the Avalon was thus needed in order to get us across the line for a 2:00am picks up from Tullamarine. I guess this part of the journey I can call 'the good', the 'amicable', the 'optimistic' section. Aside from Avalon being about 15kms outside of Geelong and about 80kms from Melbourne, the drive up to Melbourne itself was alright and a night on Brunswick St, hanging out in a quaint small Spanish restaurant / bar, taking down a few drinks and lining up some tapas is pretty much what the doctor ordered. Frankly, I could have stayed there a few nights longer but that's the way Melbourne and I operate (just move there already Henry) - yes, I should.

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So 02:00 ticks on by and we're kicking back in the lounge area of Tullamarine, putting back a few drinks before flying off into the early morning sky and heading north to KL. All excited, (except for Jase - we're constantly told how he's not), we make our run down express route 1 of Tullamarine and head north.

It's a wrap

A year removed from this escapade, recalling the intricacies are a little difficult but enjoyable at the same time. From memory I think my last few hours in Rome involved a bus ride back from the Vatican, spending a lot more time in front of the Trevi fountain and enjoying the most Italian meal that I could find in the vicinity. Kind of like having a vegemite sandwhich whilst walking across the Harbour Bridge and taking a photo of the Opera House.

In Summary - lets go with the greatest hits

Favourite places: Paris, Fes, Marrakech

Most Surprising: Rome

Coolest place for a night out: Barcelona, Madrid

Favourite Hotel: Dar One Riad - Marrakech

Best place to get totally lost: Fes

Best place to drink and get totally lost: Barcelona

Coolest moment: Seeing the Eiffel Tower for the very first time - it's a long way from Year 8 French class.

Uncoolest: Have some Moroccan teenager rip-off my phone with their typical 'My brother, it's in your best interests' look.

Best comeback: Video taping the pick pocket that tried to take off with my wallet in D'jemma el Fna, Marrakech.

Most Random ..but still cool event: Running into Michel De La Chaise in Vienna airport, being on the same flight home as me, staying at the same hotel in Dubai and then hanging out with him for a night, drinking, smoking some sheesha and catching cabs to random tourist destinations at 4am, lol, awesome !

Best Meal: Chez Robert et Louis, Le Marais, Paris.

Total Flights: 10

Total kms covered: 39,568

Rome - The Wholly Sea -Città del Vaticano

…and yes, I know it’s the Holy See


No rest for the wicked or the passionate young traveller (that’s right, I called myself young) ! Turn around times on my holidays are notoriously short, part of that being alcohol related and the other part being my desire to loose myself in a new city where the objective is to check things out rather than check out late. Also, on this day I had another objective, cracking the Vatican City State effectively means that I’d be leaving Italy behind for a few hours and entering another country. No additional stamp on the passport but then again, in these modern EU times, passport stamps are increasing becoming a rarity.

So, this state is effectively a walled enclave within the city of Rome, and with a burgeoning population of 900 people, coupled with a vast territory of 110 acres, is also the smallest country on earth in reference to both size and population. Hmmm, I wonder what their birth rate is ? It is in fact the big police doughnut if you wanted to know.

My morning in Rome effectively involved a bit of a cruise around on one of those ‘jump on – jump off’ buses but the primary stop for me was to be Piazza San Pietro (St Peter’s Square). As I ‘jumped-off’ the bus and strolled up along with the few thousand other pilgrims, I noticed that St.Peter’s Basilica was actually quite freakin’ enormous. Right, so this is where the Pope and his cohorts kick it during the week hey, it’s kind of grandiose in that typically Catholic way and slightly reverent ….in that typically Catholic way also. On this occasion I wasn’t in for any sort of guilt trip although I noticed a few of the Papal police kicking people out of the queue to enter the Basilica for not wearing ‘appropriate’ clothing? Go figure, the Hard Rock café lives by the credo of ‘love all, serve all’ and here the centre of the universe for Catholics goes by the credo ‘Love all, serve all of those dressed appropriately’. Apparently the large forecourt in front of the Basilica was designed so that the largest number of people could see the Pope during mass /prayer time / blessings etc. Right in the centre is an enormous obelisk, again, from some background reading it’s apparently an Egyptian obelisk made of red
granite and stands at 40+ mtrs from its base.

St Peter's Square

The queue to get in was definitely the most disorganised that I had stood in over the past few weeks but they’re Italian ( or are they ‘Vaticano’), either way, you kind of expect it. You could see the Catholics just wanting to ‘lose it’ but we’re unfortunately beaten back by their own moral standing and the inevitable judgment that would have come with the line, ‘Aren’t you Catholic’ .

Once inside I can say that the place was as enormous as it was on the outside, and I guess that’s what got to me, just the sheer vastness. I did at that moment thing that the acoustics in the joint would be befitting of a rock concert, but who would do the gig ? Perhaps God himself ? Aka Bono ! I guess there’s nothing too much additional to report about the interior, the more impressive element was the walk up to the top of the dome. I did encounter momentary flashbacks to my Chu Chi tunnel experience when the staircase closed in on me as I wound around the outside of the dome and my brain told me that the ‘fear’ trigger was being alerted because we were being enclosed. Stupid brain, I got over that one quick smart by convincing myself that I’d be such a pansy if I lost the plot - and so I didn’t !! lol

The view from the top of St.Peters was spectacular! Again, what took me by surprise was that it seemed like the outskirts of the city was actually quite close to the city centre. None of those sprawling suburban landscapes that we mentally equate as being a typical characteristic of a well known city.

….hmmm, am stopping here, one more Roman fixture to go before I wrap up my European escapades and start discussing the anguish, pain and logistical nightmare that. was Laos.

Rome - Eternally appealing

I flew out of Barcelona and into Rome, more out of necessity than any real desire to see the place, for me it was the easiest connection for Belgrade and hence I found myself staying there two nights. From the outset there was nothing appealing or particularly interesting about Rome - in my mind, meaning essentially that I'd never romanticised the place, never felt the desire to go and check things out. Not that I particularly dislike Italians, I don't at all, they can be melodramatic but eh, I can take that or leave it.

Flying on a late nighter out of Girona I had a group of twenty or so young twenty-somethings or late teens, flying back in I assume from a 'boys' outing in Barcelona. They were boisterous, slightly obnoxious and admittedly got under my skin. For some reason I wasn't in the mood at all and had any of those dimwits sparked something with me I would have appreciated the value behind taking a swing.

Strolling through customers and out into the Rome evening my driver was frantically waving a sign, 'Mr Elisher', 'Why yes, that would be me'. I threw my bags into the back of the car and we were off, driving into the night. Strangely and unexpectedly this is where my perception of Rome started to shift. We had been driving for a little while and I assume had made up some ground to the city centre, motoring down a relatively small road, tree lined, it kind of reminded me of a late night country road sojourn. I momentarily had an uneasy feeling that this dude was taking me somewhere completely foreign until we made a right hander and drove directly under what looked like an ancient town wall, Aurelian walls perhaps, I can't be sure. From the moment we drove under those walls the scenery changed and snapped into an urban landscape was absolutely fascinating, a mixture of Renaissance and Baroque. Very unlike a typical European capital city and I imagine the reasoning being that it escaped relatively unscathed from World War II.

As we drove in the driver did his darndest to point out the sites even though his English was extremely patchy but that was cool also, he was doing his absolute best to show off his town and I was loving it. I can't remember everything that he showed me but as we took a spin around the Colloseum I gasped, it was truly a magnificent site. Then he mentioned something that totally spun me out, we were 'effectively' in the centre of Rome and whilst saying that he pointed to an area on his left and said something about the ruins of 'Ancient Rome'....dude, are you kidding me ? This all looks like Ancient Rome to me, where is the city !! LOL. That as I was to discover IS ROME, the Ancient is preserved as best as it could be done and it had me in awe almost immediately. I've got to add it here, but if Paris is a city of museums then Rome itself is a museum and I guess that's the best I can describe the difference between them.

Shortly we past some enormous structure, the Vittoriano I believe, although colloquially known as the Wedding Cake or Typewriter due to its gaudy look and overwhelming size, totally blocking out the view of Ancient Rome. In the day I recognised why many people thought this but on first site it was impressive under lights. A few turns later we were running down cobblestone streets and pulling up in front of the Trevi B&B. It didn't take long, just the short drive from the airport to my accommodation but I had fallen for Rome already.

I walked into a beautifully decorated 17th century building simply buzzing. This place was unbelievable and now I was kicking myself that I only had a day to spin around the city and take in the sites the next day. Although with that said, it was only 1am and hey, I had all morning if I wanted it. I dropped my bags off and took a walk down to Fontana de Trevi, not more that 50 metres away from the front door of where I was staying.

The moment I saw the fountain was one that I'll always remember. I guess not knowing an awful lot about a place and being surprised is the way to go.

Trevi fountain at night

It was brilliant, a small little square, an incredible design and such atmosphere. To provide a short background, in 1629 the then Pope, Urban VIII, requested that a new fountain be designed so as to replace the old fountain in the area. The fountain marks the terminal point for of the modern Acqua Vergine, the revivified Aqua Virgo, one of the ancient aqueducts that supplied water to ancient Rome. It was not until 1762 that the structure was actually completed. Of course, along with the fountain goes the Two coin toss tradition - one for a speedy return to Rome and the other to find the 'one true love', and so it is, my coins were cast with those hopes firmly given to the fountain to take under consideration.

Making the most of the night I made my way a little distance to the Spanish Steps or in Italian, Scalinata della Trinità dei Monti. I've got to say, I know nothing about the background of the stairs, why they were built or what they represent but hey, I've seen them in movies a few times and the idea of 'lovers meeting' by the steps or on them is very, very true. It was a kiss-a-thon all round, lol.

The Spanish Steps

Walking back to Trevi B&B I felt the compulsion to just keep moving, it was approximately 2am but I thought what better time to have the city to myself and see some of the sites without a crowd. My next stop was in fact the Wedding Cake, and as I mentioned earlier, under lights it was truly a spectacular structure. Knowing now the view it blocks is an absolute shame but I guess beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

My walk continued down the main road after this, basically retracing my drive from much earlier in the night. Like Paris with the Eiffel Tower, Sydney with the Opera House or New York with the Statue of Liberty, the Colloseum is synonymous with Rome and at 3am, with not a soul on the streets, it was about as majestic as it could get. I'm not sure if the pictures do it justice but it's definitely a memory I'll always treasure.

What an awe inspiring place, to be in the presence of such history, to realise the time that this structure had endured was remarkable. I mean I'm not usually taken aback my such places but the Colloseum and Angkor Wat just leave you speechless.

With great difficulty I made it back to the Trevi B&B, don't know how I managed that (another story in itself) but lets just say that at the point of 'relief' I was a second or two away from a near fatal disaster. Still feeling the thrill of being captured by the impressions that this city had already given up, I walked back down to the fountain and took a few more shots. The one below is from the back of the fountain looking out onto the square. From memory it was pretty close to 4am but it's one place in the city where in Summer you'll always find someone strolling around. I guess Rome is just that type of place.

Barcelona - guerilla style

If you don't look up you'll miss it but this shot of an 'iron man' hanging from a pole is fantastic. There's a square at the end of Las Ramblas and from memory this was a little bit past that. Not sure if there's a name for this piece or not but there you have it.

Barcelona's Archer

We all remember it right, one of the most spectacular moments in Olympic history occurred when Paralympic archer Antonio Rebollo took his shot once in a lifetime shot and lit the Olympic cauldron from the track of the Estadi Olympic in Barcelona. For all those that want to know, the trajectory was such that the flame did not actually land in the cauldron but it was already so 'gassed' up that if you had banged two rocks together and generated any spark from 10 metres it would have ignited. As a sports fanatic of course I get a thrill from visiting places such as these and as Olympic Opening Ceremonies go this moment on the 26th of July, 1992 is probably the most memorable.

Camp Nou - home of Barca

Camp Nou is the largest stadium in Europe, home to FC Barcelona, one of the most famous and proudest of sporting teams in Europe. It's a magnificent place and yes, again, I'm biased but walking through the players tunnel from the changes rooms and out onto the touch line was such a thrill for me. It's as close as I'll ever get to experiencing the real thing. Just to imagine a capacity crowd of nearly 100,000 people, perhaps a game where you're playing a World Cup final or European championship final - well, all boyhood dreams and thoughts, all of which still gave me goosebumps.

Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Família

An Antoni Gaudi structure, building of which commenced in 1882 and continues to this date, still twently plus years from being complete. It's truly a masterpiece, a magnificent gothic style building that leave you in absolute awe.

Casa Mila

Casa Mila is a another building designed by Antoni Gaudi, completed anywhere between 1910-1912. Unfortunately I didn't have enough time to go in but it is another truly ingenious building which is now deservedly a UNESCO World Heritage site. The interior and room are incredible pieces, more lending themselves to Surrealist ideas than anything particularly Gothic. Never the less, something well worth seeing, and something I'll investigate further on my return here.

Gothic quarter

The Gothic quarter of Barcelona is the place to explore and get lost in the wine bars, cafes and restaurants. This is definitely built for good 'ole partying. I so wish that I had a few friends with me, I wouldn't have been in the hotel for more than 30 mins each day, a change of clothes, a shower and back out onto this dreamworld.

Barcelona Telefonica Tower - Olympic precinct


My last day in Barcelona was the standard touristic venture of jumping on a bus and seeing all the well known places of the city. Barcelona was unfortunately only a short stay with me but there's something nearly tangible about its 'sultry' atmosphere. It's a seductress, a temptress and it takes you in whole. This is most definitely the place to let your hair down and have a good time. Any place where nightly 'kick-off' starts at midnight has definitely got something going for it.