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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Paraty - The Southern Cross

Rio de Janeiro - Paraty (Brasil)
05 January 2012

Sometimes I quite like being the isolationist. I can easily allow myself to contemplate and meander through those real, surreal and errant thoughts in my mind for hours on end. I could gaze both longingly and forlornly out onto mountain ranges, desert plains and nautical miles of ocean. I'm totally OK with being in my own space without the need of company, so much so that if I allowed that line of thought to continue for a period of time I could quite easily become the quintessential hermit. I believe that occasionally social butterflies need to be shot out of the sky for the simple fact that their constant need for recognition and attention irritates the living daylights out of me. This outlook, although perhaps slightly warped, is why I can make sense of a man wanting to spend those crucial years of his life building and then sailing his yacht around the globe. Spending endless days on the timeless ocean, allowing oneself to to break lose from economic or social melodramas, I get how someone could fall for the solitude of the ocean. This in fact was the life of an Italian man (Luca), who was the owner of the resort Croce del Sud - (Cross of the South or Southern Cross), that we were to stay in over the next 5 days, about 20kms outside of the old colonial town of Paraty. I'll get back to Luca and his story in a little while.

Our time in Rio had unfortunately come to an end and whilst the rain had damaged its obvious potential there's nothing that could damage its glorious reputation in my mind. It didn't quite pull me into its web of seduction in the same way that a Buenos Aires can and does,nor did it wrap me up in a cloud of mystery in the manner of a Marrakech, but Rio is attractive, laid back and obviously knows how to get its party on when required. I've ticked you on my future 'to do' list Rio, and I'll be back with reinforcements sometime very soon.

Incidentally, do you know how difficult it is to acquire bus tickets in Brasil from outside of the country? It's a task that nearly drove JJ and I to breaking point before arriving in Rio. Trying to arrange the 4hr transit down to Paraty online was more than a mission, it was a lesson in the mechanics of coping with frustration without unnecessarily fatally damaging your own property. Vexing, annoying and futile! Actually, 'counterintuitive' would be the perfect description. Why Brasil, why do you bossanova bandits make it so difficult for us mere mortals? Still, we found out, as I probably should have realised, that just rocking up to a bus station and acquiring tickets is far less painful.This is what we did for our return leg thankfully. For our straight journey south however we were already locked and loaded, aiming at the once Portuguese colonial town of Paraty which carves out its little niche in this world along the Costa Verde (Green Coast). It's a place that had been recommended to me by my once salsa partner in crime Paula, and had originally been earmarked on my now fatal 2010 tour. This time it was getting taken out!


Overlooking Pararty Bay from the Resort Croce del Sud - Paraty - Brasil


Overlooking Pararty Bay from the Resort Croce del Sud - Paraty - Brasil


As most people who travel with me are aware, put me on anything that moves and I'll inevitably find a way to fall asleep. The four hour run down to Paraty was nothing more than a nap, so much so that when I saw the bus pull up right in front of the driveway to the Resort Croce del Sud I thought I was having quite a vivid daydream. For some reason the bus stopped for a few minutes longer than anticipated and I made what I thought to be the 'obvious' decision, that we should bust out of the bus and forgo the additional 20km run into Paraty because it would only mean having to find our way back. What I was also aware of was that the walk from the start of the driveway (in fact it was a road shared by other estates), to the actual resort was 500mtrs. I knew that. What I didn't know was that the 500mtrs was almost vertical!! It was 2mins into our walk that 'perfect male reasoning' was decimated by the reality of humidity and gravity. We turned up to the actual driveway of the resort in clothes that would not have been fit for Aquaman to wear. When Luca greeted us it was with a glassful of dismay at the fact that these ignorant Australians had decided on attacking the slopes 'freestyle' - 'Oh yeah Luca, we're hard nuts that aren't partial to reading, why would you want to have all the information available when you can find out first hand how much of an idiot you are'. Usually when I make mistakes of this calibre I come out with the line, 'Well, this is how you earn it'. Of course a taxi ride would have sufficed and I would have been happy for the driver to have earned the 40 Riel's which we saved in our 'enterprising' fashion.


The view from the back of the unit - Resort Croce del Sud - Paraty - Brasil


Resort Croce del Sud - Paraty - Brasil

The units/flats, or whatever you would like to call them were amazing however. Not so much for their facilities but for the fact that they had such a commanding view out over the bay of Paraty. The idea of chilling was not a decision that had to be made, it was something that was virtually going to be forced on us. It's a place where the rolling hills and mountains of rain forest effortlessly cascaded into the bay, and where you could hear the receding echo of fishing boats making their way out for another working day. This place was going to be very easy to get use to.

On our first afternoon we managed to walk back down the hill and into the small fishing village of Prainha and then onto the small secluded beach of Praia Grande. Now this beach to me was absolutely perfect. Emerald green waters, completely surrounded by rain forest, pristine sand and a bar not 20mtrs from the waters edge! How we didn't spend more than one afternoon just lazing around or drinking ourselves into a rain forest inspired drunken coma is beyond my comprehension. It's definitely one of my regrets for the time that we spent there but it also leaves the opportunity of having to make it up to myself at some distant point in the future.


Prainha - Costa Verde - Brasil


Jetson and JJ on the beach in Prainha - Costa Verde - Brasil


Now explain to me how we only spent the ONE afternoon on this beach

That initial evening on our balcony, glasses of wine in hand, gazing out over the bay was just E-A-S-Y. The taste of victory from walking back up the hill from the fishing village was captured perfectly in several glasses of white and also in the food that we managed to retrieve whilst down in Prainha. It's kind of obvious but when you're in a fishing village you go with their local produce right! ....and that decision was NOT a mistake. The fish and prawns that we picked up that afternoon was some of the sweetest and most 'delightful' (yes, I used that word), that I've ever had. Thankfully our flat gave us the opportunity to cook up a storm whenever we felt inspired by our environment and the way that it turned out we ended up dancing to a sweet seafood symphony every night.


Afternoon session over the bay - I think that's JJ hitting her head and expressing her overwhelming disappointment as to the situation she was now in!


Evening on its way - Resort Croce del Sud - Costa Verde - Brasil


A score with the local produce!

So, back to the story of Luca, the owner of the resort. Now apparently his life story took a turn when he entered the bay of Paraty. Somehow the Costa Verde had her way with him and decided on his behalf that his being was going to occupy this space for a while. Now this is the part that amazes me, whilst in Paraty he made his decision to stay, found himself a wife, had a couple of kids and set himself up with a ridiculous resort in a 'ridiculous' location. Of course he sold his yacht, the original Croce del Sud, which the resort was named after but what a freakin' sea change! Luca, you're kind of an oddball but much respect for following your instincts!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Rio de Janeiro - Delta blues and the perfect day

Rio de Janeiro (Brasil)
01 January - 04 Janaury 2012

New Years Day for me didn't automatically conjure up images of places, events and spaces that I inhabited for that portion of the day. In fact I had to default to the diary of Jetson, the master of all things discretely personal in a chronological sense for him to be able to advise me that we spent the evening at the rooftop bar at Porto Bay (huge surprise huh). I have the feeling however that this was the night that we ALL ended up in the pool fully clothed and staggered through the lobby dripping wet, with our dignité somewhat tarnished but with our reputations as the 'funky cool crew' fully well earnt amongst the staff. The question that I put to myself now, on reflection, is why the hell do I end up in hotel pools fully clothed on New Years Day? It's turning into quite a common event! Please see [Skybar dive - Kuala Lumpur - New Year's morning].

Rio pop art: My photo + iSkills = PopCristo!

02 January

Rain, again. Continuous, relentless, soul destroying, crushingly disappointing rain. We had lived with it since our arrival on the 26th of December, and it had continued, virtually unabated and without the slightest bit of remorse until this morning. We had attempted to outplay and outwit the earth mother and her sullen mood by recruiting the universe to act as a pawn in our feeble attempt to bluff our way out of the pertaining weather pattern. Our 'idea' was NOT to go to one of the myriad of umbrella selling bandits lining the streets who were anticipatin a riel  bonanza with the onset of the rain, in the hope, in the pathetic hope actually, that by not buying an umbrella we were not caving into the demands of the weather. We were still anticipating and in our own way aspiring to obtain a perfect Rio Summer day or several prior to our departure on the 5th and so this way of holding out was keeping those oddball hopes alive.....yeah, well the idea kind of lasted 10 mins until we all crumbled and parted with some riel in order to target severak good ole fashioned Rio umbrellas. Damn you Rio, damn you for forcing our hand on that call!


Sandwich makers of extreme meat 'epicness' - Cervantes - Copacabana - Rio de Janeiro

The pain of rain - Lapa - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


The moment in time where we all lost it!
After the obligatory morning breakfast from our local cafe downstairs and some connection time on the 'internets' we hit Cervantes for a dose of meaty pork goodness and then headed into Lapa with the intention of checking out Santa Teresa and perhaps a few other sites. I'm not sure when the collective depression struck or whether we just hadn't noticed it but I recall we were in a bar/restaurant on the outskirts of Lapa, looking out onto another bleak Rio day, the rain starting to really bucket down and I think we all collectively 'lost it'. It was one of those rare moments when all three of us came to a crushing halt. For 15 minutes there we all were thinking 'F**k this and F**k you Rio! You've played us hard!'. It was nothing that a few beers couldn't fix though. We rallied, got up and got back into the game soon after, attacking the nearby Escadaria Selaron.


Escadaria Selaron - Lapa - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil




Escadaria Selarón is a set of world-famous steps designed by the Chilean born artist Jorge  Selarón who got sick of the dilapidated nature of the stairs that ran outside of his home and commenced work on designing, brightening and offering his tribute to the Brasilian people through is tiled artistry. The first time I ever saw these stairs was in a video film clip, and you've probably guessed it, it was in [Snoop Dogg's - Beautiful], and yes, Mr Dogg spells his surname with a double g! It's a g-thang! Then MY BOYS delivered these stairs to me in [Walk On - U2], after which it was always going to make my 'to do' list.

...And it's a pretty cool spot. Knowing the reason for its existence now and how/why Jorge originally scavenged for the tiles from various construction sites, it makes you think that even an oddball Chilean man can have his impact on the world in his own unique way. The stairs themselves split the neighbourhoods of Lapa & Santa Teresa, and the work, just like the harbour bridge, is constantly in progress. Jorge is always at it, finishing off a section and then commencing another section, redoing, recreating. On the day that we were there JJ actually pointed Jorge out to me, as he's known to be working on the stairs constantly. It took me a little while to either believe or register the fact that this was the case but our little JJ, she was right on the money with Jorge and is locale!

We climbed the stairs and up into Santa Teresa as the rain started to back off. As the light of the dat faded and the street lighting began to take hold we climbed a little further into Santa Teresa, probably a little unsafely considering Rio's penchant for petty crime. Somewhere on those streets we encountered a Paolo Coehlo look alike who asked us we were were from and then added, 'You know, this is not Sydney, this is Rio, you have to be careful'...and with those kind words of warning we descended back into one of the bars in Lapa for a few glasses of the local brew before jumping a ride back to Copacabana.


Bleak streets - Santa Theresa - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil

03 January - the perfect day

If the second day of the year was a lesson in what Rio shouldn't be and what we didn't want from the weather then the 3rd day was EPIC! It was THE perfect Rio day. Sun kissed, warm, inviting and perfect for us to reason that if ever we were going to jump a helicopter in order to take a ride of this aesthetically stunning city then today was going to be the day!

The group decision to take to the air was inspired. I think there was the briefest moment when we considered to postpone for a day or so but we came to our senses quickly and realised that even though the rain had been scared off for the day a return serve was already on its way in.

I don't need to put into words what this aerial escapade actually gave to us and what it did for our mood because Jetson has been kind enough to deliver it to you via YouTube with his band Speedball playing as musical support to the visuals! Enjoy the clip, it's FANTASTIC. I've included a couple of screenshots below.


Helicopter flight around Rio de Janeiro!!!

[The Adventures of Jet Frichot - Helicopter ride to Christ the Redeemer]

Backing track by Jet's band - SPEEDBALL!!

Leblon - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


Ipanema - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


Copacabana - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil



Corocovado - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil
It's not hard to tell as to why this city ranks in the top couple of cities to be considered the most beautiful on earth. For me, grabbing a pair of wings and soaring above this town was always going to be a highlight, but, nothing quite prepared me for what we all witnessed as we swung behind Cristo and the city unfurled it's dramatic beauty before us. There's a stream of images that I'm going to be taking with me for years to come, and whilst the photos and video don't do it justice at all maybe you can get just a little bit of an idea of what we experienced.

Cristo redentor - Rio de Janeiro -Brasil

Cristo redentor - Rio de Janeiro -Brasil


Cristo redentor - Rio de Janeiro -Brasil



You can imagine that once we hit terra firma all of us were on an enormous high. It's not every day you cut such a dramatic circuit of the city. Needless to say, it wasn't at all difficult to pinpoint what our next stop would be. It was a glorious day, the sun was just starting to drop out of sight and the sun was gracefully dancing its playful retreat over the mountains. We knew the perfect spot to witness that would be from the rooftop bar of Porto Bay, and again I have to say, it was the perfect choice for what ended up being the perfect day.
Looking east from Porto Bay - Copacabana beach - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


Sunset from Porto Bay - Copacabana - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil

Sunset from Porto Bay - Copacabana - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


Copacabana beach from Porto Bay - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


Sunset from Porto Bay - Copacabana - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil




The final round - 04 Jan
Our last day in Rio rolled around quite quickly, which often seems to be the norm when you're travelling. Whilst you're in the moment time moves slower than anticipated and then on reflection you figure it was actually a lot faster.

We had a few ideas for our last day but the general concensus was that it was going to be cruisy, or rather that it should be. I had it in my head that we would head down into Lapa and jump the famous Santa Teresa tram line up to this bohemian style neighbourhood. The only issue with that thought, and what I didn't know at the time was that all tram services had been suspended due to the fact that in the preceding August a tram had derailed, killing 5 people and injuring 27. Observing the line and noting that NO trams were operational we took to walking up to Santa Teresa via Escadaria Selaron which we had taken out on a rainy day a few days earlier. Much more pleasant in glorious sunshine I must say.


Tram line to Santa Teresa - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


Lapa - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


A tile on the Escadaria Selaron - Lapa - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


Santa Teresa - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil

Our stop in Santa Teresa was only brief and later into the afternoon we headed back to Porto Bay for final night drinks...but of course, where the hell else would we have gone.


View from Santa Teresa - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil

Rio is a fantastic place, it's got that carioca laid back style, it's gorgeous beyond belief, full of colour and full of life. It's a place that bounces along to it's inherrent samba rhythym.  I would imagine that the  'the well to do' locals  of Rio  can't help but feel to be just a little blessed by the city they find themselves living in. We spent 10 days in this place and I think the circumstances of weather more than anything prevented us from obtaining the full amount of what it had to offer. Still, with the World Cup in 2014 and the Olympics in 2016 you just know that this place is going to be THE epicentre of all things 'party related'  during those days. Thankfully Rio has already mailed me an invite and I've replied back in kind. Be sure to get yours otherwise you'll be kicking yourself whilst watching the action from home, in the dark, and wishing that you had taken a snippet of Helisher advice!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Rio de Janeiro - New Years Réveillon 2012

Rio de Janeiro (Brasil)
30 Dec 2011 - 01 Jan 2012

It's amusing how on occassion the smallest things can get stuck in your head, sometimes it's in that kind of innocuous but still irritating manner, like an itch that you can't quite scratch and yet you still know in yourself what the antidote needs to be. For example, my visit to [Helsinki] a couple of years ago was based solely on the misconception of an ex husband of my aunts' who thought that Helsinki was a superstar Russian athlete. His line, mentioned at some point during those 1952 Olympics went something like 'Wow, that Helsinki must be a great athlete, all I'see in the paper each day is Helsinki, Helsinki, Helsinki'. This line of gross ignorance and stupidity somehow filtered down through the years as an internal family joke that in turn manifested in me wanting to actually go and visit the place. In somewhat of the same manner, our visit to Parque Lage in Rio de Janeiro was based solely upon fact that I had in my head crystal clear images that were imprinted via the visual outlet of the Snoop Dogg & Pharrel Williams song, [Beautiful - (Parque Lage)]. You can check out the venue at 2:42-2:45 and then anywhere after 3:53. I mean the whole clip is like a glorious advertisement for Rio but for some reason the Parque stuck in my mind as a party venue (it's not by the way, it's located in the Botanical Gardens, but is a nice enough place).


Parque Lage - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


Parque Lage - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


What I also noticed prior to leaving Sydney was the proliferation of video clips that 'all of a sudden' started utilising Rio as it's backdrop, for example,[Pete Murray - Free], [David Guetta ft Usher - Without You], [Flo Rida - Turn Around (5,4,3,2,1)]. It felt to me as though they were everywhere and I don't know whether it was just the fact that I had now become consciously aware of Rio appearing everywhere and the simple fact of the matter was that the frequency was no different than that of previous times, or, whether Rio had simply gone gangbusters as a location backdrop and it was hitting everyone artists radar as an IT zone, once again?

Whatever the case was, Parque Lage was unfortunately a little bit of a let down. Of course it had stern competition from that imposing and almighty Cristo Redentor guy that we had just returned from, and in addition, perhaps it was that all three of us were by now well into the hunger zone but the botanical gardens struggled a little for our respect and appreciation, although I really do like some of the black and white shots I managed to capture.


Defeated in our quest to acquire any food of substance we made the absurd decision to walk to Lagoa de Rodrigo de Freitas, and then when nothing but coconut water and slices of pineapple eventuated, we walked to Leblon, and then for some reason down Ipanema... and then onwards, most of the way to Copacobana. It was yet another ludicrous walk, by the end of which tempers had been frayed, nerves had been trodden on and cheap shots were flying around within a thinly veiled disguise of good humour and banter. It wasn't that bad to tell you the truth. It's rare with either JJ or Frichot that the annoyance factor gets anywhere over a 2 on the Richter scale. Still, on this night we all crashed out a smidgen earlier in a kind of silent protest, and I guess as an energy saving strategy for the following evening!


31 December 2011 - 01 January 2012 (New Years Réveillon 2012)

Now this is the day that I had been anticipating for well over a year. I had intended on being at the greatest party in the world the previous year but when things came unstuck in Bolivia I set my sights on 2011-12. Admittedly the idea of returning to South America was more set in hope than anything else but I usually figure that if you put things out to the universe then the worst it can do is not give you a response, and then at other times, well it seems to be able to work a little magic for you.


The tradition in Rio is to where white for NYE, it's meant to bring the individual good luck for the new year. There are also options for wearing all green or blue, but for me, I'm a traditionalist by nature and my thinking is if I can call in an ounce of luck in advance, well then so be it, but if I get call in a whole bucket load with 2,000,000 other people on Copacabana beach then why the hell would I not want to be part of that goodwill tsunami!? It's like the 'God' argument, fair enough if you don't want to believe but if you do per chance and things work in your favour then it's a win-win, and if God doesn't exist, well then you've really lost nothing in the process, but alas, I digress.

Now that's the way to 'take down' a meal!

The pacing and tempo for any NYE  is generally very different from all other days of the year. Go out too hard and peak too early and all possibilities are lost to you. You have to build from early afternoon, into the evening and then last into the morning. The start of the last day of 2011 for this trio was actually late afternoon with an epic meal at a place whose name I don't recall. The food was great, relatively cheap but the portions were immense. Frichot ordered himself half a camel with a side of horse and I have no idea how they managed to fit the 57 plates onto a table made for two but it was a sight to behold. Jetson gave it a good shake also but even on this day, in the challenge of Man v.Food, food came out the victor.


Pacing ourselves into the early part of the evening, we had a few drinks to move the night along and then somewhere around 9pm hit the beach to wait out the last few hours and call in 2012. Now unfortunately at this point in time the rain also decided that it wanted to partake in the festivities and damn it, it was adamant that it wanted to hang aroud. Down it came! Constant, persistent, incessant, ludicrously frustrating and irritating. A Rio NYE with rain to me felt like a Melbourne Cup without the horses, WTF man! C'mon, a break please! We thankfully managed to hijack a few beach umbrellas and beach chairs to keep ourselves 'relatively' dry but geez, it was an uphill battle to lift our spirits for those final hours.


Seriously, it's NYE in RIO!


I think Jetson's face here says it all!


Umbrellas abound on Copacabana!


Perhaps I should qualify that last paragraph, JJ is always in good spirits! You could tell her that the world was going to end in 45 seconds and I think she would laugh hysterically until the very last. For both Frichot and myself, well, we quite usually need things to go our way or some sort of a trigger. It wasn't until perhaps the last 30 mins of the countdown that we really started to get swept up in the NYE fervor, rain and all.

Counting down for those final few minutes and those last few seconds of course I considered myself more than lucky be in that place, in that moment with two great friends. And then it happened! The GREATEST FREAKIN' FIREWORKS DISPLAY OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!! I've seen a few in my time but I tell you now my friends, nothing, but nothing, will ever beat the intensity, vibrancy and 'good vibrations' of a 2012 shout out on Copacabana beach.

Check out Jetson's video of the fireworks here

The videos tell a FAR better story than the photos below!

This video is also pretty good


New Years Réveillon 2011 - Copacabana beach - Rio de Janeiro -Brasil


New Years Réveillon 2011 - Copacabana beach - Rio de Janeiro -Brasil



Standing beneath that fireworks display was mind blowing. The colours were so vivid and the sheer size and breadth of the display down the beach just made you feel as though it was wrapping around your being. I could feel the shock waves from the bursts hit me squarely in the chest and make their way through me. To say that it was captivating and spellbinding would be to do it a huge disservice, so the best I can really do is to add the photos that I have and some of the YouTube videos, inclusive of Jetsons, to show you how damn intense it was. This was certainly a highlight and for anyone that ever has the means and capacity to be here for a NYE, then I would say without hesitation, do it!


New Years Réveillon 2012 - Copacabana beach - Rio de Janeiro -Brasil


New Years Réveillon 2012 - Copacabana beach - Rio de Janeiro -Brasil


New Years Réveillon 2012 - Copacabana beach - Rio de Janeiro -Brasil


I don't quite recall the duration of display, it may have been 15 mins, it may have been 30 but in the end it didn't really matter, I'll always have that experience to carry with me, so too the 2 million other people that were on the beach at that moment. As the haze of the display mystically morphed into those irritating rain clouds once again, the weather that we finished 2011 off with got pulled into 2012. Still, people seemed to be in great spirits and many were dipping their toes into the Atlantic for their first swim or 'splash' of the year.


New Years Réveillon 2012 - Copacabana beach - Rio de Janeiro -Brasil


First swim of 2012 - Copacabana beach - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil

It was at this point that Jetson departed for the night, I don't think the fireworks display was quite the inspirational drawncard and was incapable of holdimg him with us until the morning. I on the other hand wanted to stay out on the beach and watch David Guetta do his set and somehow sold JJ on the idea that hanging around until 2am to check it out was going to be well worth the trouble of braving the rain and masses of people.


Why I had it in my head that trying to make our way to the stage was going to be the golden ticket, I'm not sure, but our path to Guetta glory was blocked by parties, tents, public urination, spruikers, jokers and anything else you could imagine. Once 2am rolled around Guetta jumped on stage and yelled out in his inimitable French accent , 'Hello Rio, this is going to be the biggest party in the world tonight' ...for some reason that I still haven't worked out, somehow JJ and I bastardised that simplistic intro and our memories both acted to convince ourselves and each that his opening line was, 'Hey there Rio, this is going to be the biggest f*cking sh*t on earth EVER!!!', of course that's not what he said but we believed it for a while.


(For the sake of posterity and because I was recently able to find a clip of what he said, if you get to somewhere around 3.11 via the video link above, what Guetta actually says is...'[t]his is going to be the biggest club ever on the planet' ...Well DG, over a million people would probably have you close to the mark!)


Now I think Guetta would have gone off, I really do, but the sounds from 100mtrs off the stage was appalling and the idea of having to put up with that for 90mins was not going to sit well with either of us. It was at that point that we decided to make our way back to our Copa unit in the sky, via the other million people that were backed into that small beach front space. Man, now that was a task. There were waves of people moving every which way and what you thought was the direct route out, or what it should have been, turned into wild web of off ramps,  misguided short cuts and incidental moshing. What should have been a 10min walk out took nearly an hour, perhaps longer. That's what you get for taking on an NYE in Rio though, and just for that, I have it in my head for making it back one day and doing it all again!

Chaos on the streets - view from our apartment on New Years Day


Monday, July 16, 2012

Rio de Janeiro - Like a boss!

Rio de Janeiro (Brasil)
29 Dec - 30 Dec 2012

Sometimes no matter how hard you try you just can't forgive people for the wrongs they've committed against you. A step up from that level are crimes against humanity, this involves an individual's complete disregard for the pain and suffering that they intentionally inflict upon other humans for the sake of either their own gain, morbid or perverse amusement, or whatever else may come their minds. Then there are the crimes of Jet Frichot. His crimes raise the bar far in excess of what can be considered to be a true crime against humanity. So lets just start with the parameters here just to let you know what I'm talking about. If you were born any time before 1980 then you might remember this commercial [Tia Maria - gold & brown]. Now for some reason Jetson had it in his head that singing the ridiculously catchy line, 'Tia Maria, gold and brown, drink it until the sun goes down', with the word 'sun' substituted for all things buttocks related, would be amusing...and you know it was, for a little while, but then that damn commercial got stuck in my head for hours, then for days and now 6 months latter reflecting on our time in Rio I STILL have it in my head. Just listen to it!! Get a grasp of the lines... '...she's got a taste for the gold and brown', like what the hell are they driving at there? Ah Jetson, there's a warrant out for your arrest, I want you to stand trial in the Hague for the punishment you've inflicted not just on me but for all people that have unwittingly had to listen to me repeat the gold and brown line for the last few months!


THE beach of Rio - Copacabana


Ipanema - a credible second

For an afternoon at least I was able to divert my mind away from the Caribbean stylings of Tia Maria and delve into the bossanova driven [Girl from Ipanema]. If you haven't heard it then give it a run, this song is so smooth that it rightly demands that word 'smooth' be spelt with an additional two 'o''s! It just has to be smooooth for the purposes of this song. It was more than easy to have it as my mental soundtrack as we cruised up Ipanema beach and watched the beautiful people of this area get their voyeuristic fill by exposing most of themselves whilst on the golden sands of one of the most famous strips in the world. I mean I wasn't complaining about that, they have to do what they have to do to get through their days, right? The only disappointed was the damn persistence of cloud that appeared to be has angry as I was about the omnipresent nature of that damn Tia Maria tune! (I'm still singing it as I write!). That aside, hanging out by the beach is a lesson in what it is to be a carioca. You get your 'chill' on, you accept caipirinha's willingly (although the alcohol content made them a brutal concoction), you have lengthy skewers of fresh prawns delivered to you with a slight nod of the head, in fact, almost anything can be delivered to you whilst on the beach.


JJ and Jetson walking along Ipanema - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


There was a sale on doughnuts in downtown Copacabana!

The real issue with Ipanema is that it's just not Copacobana. Everyone has their preference of beaches obviously and I guess it's like arguing for a winner between Manly and Bondi (none of the above incidentally). For me Copacobana is THE beach of Rio and whilst Ipanema can happily play wing man for as long as it wants, just like in Top Gun, Ice never really gets the better of Maverick, it just never happens. Hanging out on Ipanema for the afternoon was still a pleasure but the walk back to Copacabana was simply a dumb idea, ranking right up their with other dumb walks I've had with (surprise, surprise, JJ!!), please see Marais to the Eiffel Tower & Barric Gotic to La Sagrada Familia,to get an idea of what I'm referring to.


One of the New7Wonders

I'm a true believer in the saying that you're only as good as your last performance. It's alright to have a legacy, it's great to have a history of success but you can't ever express to the masses that you're the greatest in that moment if your last performance was a loss. Now this is where the Egyptians come into play. Back in 2001 a Swiss corporation named the New7Wonders Foundation started an initiative to nominate and then to name the new 7 wonders of the world. The Egyptians fearing strong competition from the likes of the Opera House and the Statue of Liberty called the project absurd and put in their sternest of complaints.


Cristo Retendor - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


View over Botafogo and out to Sugarloaf - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil


Rio panorama - yeah, it's kind of 'ok'!


One for the Facebook profile

Now the pyramids of Giza are a marvel and I have the feeling that if the competition was run fairly that these guys would have been included without question, but the foundation took pity on the poor Egyptians and included them as an 'honorary candidate', existing as a wonder but in an 'honorary position' outside of the new 7!? Now the Egyptians just look like a bunch of whingers that had a massive dummie spit.

Check out Jetson's link from the 'Almighty Cristo' - [The Adventures of Jet Frichot - Christ the Redeemer]

This brings me to who actually is in the top 7 [New7Wonders] - check it out at the link if you need to, but I'll clue you in as to who one of the seven is, Cristo Redentor. This modern marvel tops out at nearly 40mtrs and is known to be the fifth largest statue on earth. It also holds pride of place over Rio and without question has the BEST view in town. It's like Jesus himself had a look around, selected a spot and said, 'Yes, it is good'. The statue has become an icon for Rio and for Brasil, and wherever you travel in this town you can see it's outstretched arms welcoming all from far and wide from its golden position atop Corcovado.

On this day we decided to challenge the weather pattens of Rio once again and aimed ourselves for a summit run of Corcovado and a date with Cristo.


Cristo playing a coy little game of hide and seek


Cristo Retendor - Corcovado - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil

For the first hour or so of our tour we looked to have somehow obtained a large slice of luck as the sun came out and flirted with the idea of  becoming a splendid day, but as the reality of the queues dawned up on us (they're insanely long and convoluted), so too do did the clouds come rolling in off the Atlantic and for several hours this wonder was shrouded amidst a veil of Brasilian secrecy. There we sat, at the base of the statue not being able to see a thing! Cristo had done a Copperfield for all intents and purposes and Claudia Schiffer was nowhere to be seen.


Gene Simmons with Cristo


Sitting at the base of the statue for an hour or so we decided to 'wait it out'. Not so much of a struggle with a bar being on hand to assist with the decision making...and so as our minds became foggier, the clouds around Cristo cleared. The more we drank the clearer things became. Call it good fortune or 'Cristo tax' but I really enjoyed the way in which that unwordly trade off was made.


Cristo Retendor - Corcovado - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil



Yeah, 'that dude again!'

Cristo is massive by the way, he really is! What is particularly amazing is his location. You look around at the vista, the slopes of the surrounding mountains and think 'who the hell was it that thought a statue up here would be a TOPS idea!?' - FYI, initially it was a priest by the name of Pedro Maria Boss - You can just guess what his directions were huh, 'yup, put that statue way up there and build it like a BOSS!'
Cristo Retendor - Corcovado - Rio de Janeiro - Brasil



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