Central America - the 'Because it's there' tour - the FINAL

CENTRAL AMERICA
15 January – 12 March 2017

It’s a wrap

As has become standard for me when I've ended a trip I've taken to doing a last summary or a 'greatest hits' review whenever I managed to complete the final entry on the 'how, why, when and whatever else may have been alcohol related' blog series of my most recent escapades. Sticking with tradition and therefore adopting the same template that I've used in the past, see also;

1. [Morocco - Europe wrap - June/July 2008]
2. [Laos wrap - April 2009]
3. [Vietnam-Malaysia wrap - December/January 2009/10]
4. [Europe-Morocco-South America wrap - 2010]
5. [USA-Mexico wrap - February/March - 2011]
6. [Brazil-UAE wrap - December/January -2011/12]
7. [Argentina-Uruguay wrap - August 2012]
8. [South America wrap - 2015]

I therefore bring you the close out of our Central American experience which continues  within Life in a Year Full of Saturdays. The Central American tour, Because it’s there’, was just one of those things where we thought, hey, why shouldn’t we. Lets’ just got and see what’s there.

So here it is…Central America ‘The Final’

Our favourite places

1  1. Caye Caulker (Belize) - To think, this place wasn’t even on the itinerary, it was one of those places that we considered adding in ‘if’ time permitted, and hell, weren’t we thankful for making the correct decision. A Caribbean dream.

Caye Caulker - Belize

Caye Caulker - Belize

2    2. Havana (Cuba) - An old favourite, this place is timeless and will always hold a special place in our hearts and minds. Even as the wind of change makes its way across the island, what it is and what it stands for is pervasive and special to all.

Havana - Cuba

The Malecon - Havana - Cuba

3    3.  El Tunco (El Salvador) - A surprisingly wonderful destination. Sunsets, surf and cocktail dreams. Inspiration on the Pacific in a corner of the world that remains reasonably undiscovered

El Tunco - El Salvador

El Tunco - El Salvador

4    4. Antigua (Guatemala) - The ‘Melbourne’ of Central America, speakeasies at every turn. A town of stunning colonial architecture, fantastic food and bars that could find themselves in any Alpha City of the world.

Antigua - Guatemala

5    5. Cabo San Lucas (Mexico) - Where the desert meets the sea (or rather, the ocean), white beaches, nightlife, water sports. It’s a place that allows you to do a lot, have fun and sets the scene with gorgeous scenery and equally supportive climate.

Cabo San Lucas - Mexico

Most Surprising

Caye Caulker (Belize)

We really didn’t expect much from Caye Caulker, perhaps our Central America on a shoestring guide didn’t do it justice. With that said, Belize City is not at all spectacular and not worth occupying your time, but then, jump on a fast ferry, get out to the Caye’s and soon enough you’ll be swinging in a hammock, staring up at the wonderful palm trees and thinking that life can be as simple as this.

Best Drinks

1  1. Cadillac Margarita – Hooters – Cancun (Mexico) - Don’t knock it unless you’ve tried it. Both Inga and I enjoy the junk food hit and the satisfaction of not eating healthy, and then rolled in the big, stylish Cadillac Margarita which just swept us off our feet.

2  2. Pina Colada – Malecon – Havana (Cuba) – Hotel Terral – It’s all about the quality at this place. Equally as great as the first occasion I tried it here two years ago. Sweet, rich, cold and delicious on every occasion. It was 2015 all over again, consistency and deliciousness is triumphant here.

3  3. Daquiri – El Floridita – Havana (Cuba) – You could hardly believe that a drink that is as mass produced as the daiquiri in El Floridita could be any good, but of course, you would be wrong. Batch made, not bespoke, but the man behind the bar has some 25 years of experience and man, he obviously knows a thing or two about turning them over, getting them out and making them right!

Can you believe it moments

11. El Tunco (El Salvador) - Sitting on the back deck of the El Sunzal El Tunco, the waves of the Pacific crashing at our doorstep, staring up at the stars, sharing a drink and a cigar, it was hard to believe that a simple place like this could be so wonderful…but it was.

El Tunco - El Salvador

2  2. Leon (Nicaragua) - Waking up at 7am to what we thought was an evacuation alarm, and believing in that moment that we were in the midst of a volcanic eruption with our lives, potentially being on the line, was not cool perse, not until such time that we figured out that the alarm was the standard morning wake-up call for the school kids of Leon.

Leon - Nicaragua

3    3. Sunset on the Malecon – view from our hospederia – Havana (Cuba) - Two years earlier we had walked the Malecon and wondered what it would be like to watch a sunset from one of the buildings on the ocean front. Two years later we were fortunate enough to share that very experience together.

The Malecon - Havana - Cuba

The Malecon - Havana - Cuba

Un-cool moments

1  1. El Jardin de la Vida – Ometepe (Nicaragua) - Having dragged two mountain bikes, aka, gross hunks of chunk, around the base of Volcan Maderas, we managed to get back to our accommodation only to be accused by the owners of being ignorant, naïve and almost negligent for the complete break down of their bikes. Well, your treatment of us was pathetic, your moral compass off and your understanding of your own responsibilities in renting out this bikes were grossly underestimated. I said it once and I’ll say it again, to the owners of El Jardin de la Vida, you suck!!

El Jardin de la Vida - Ometepe - Nicaragua

Yes, you SUCKED!

2    2. Te’Kila, 6541 Hollywood Boulevard – Hollywood - Los Angeles  (USA)  - The audacity of these guys slipping a 20% fee onto our bill and hoping we wouldn’t call them on it was one thing, but then, trying to get it by us by claiming it was a tourist tax, well that was pathetic. We called them out and they backed down, but their manner was just so shonky and disrespectful.

Te'Kila - Hollywood Boulevard - Hollywood - Los Angeles - USA

Yes, you guys were DODGY!

Te'Kila - Hollywood Boulevard - Hollywood - Los Angeles - USA

Yes, you guys were DODGY!

3    3. The Nowhere Bar – Los Cabos San Lucas (Mexico) - It all came unstuck here when the waiter told me that the tip that I had given him was insufficient. It was close to 10% but not 10%. Hmmm, no I was of the opinion that tips were in fact discretionary and not an obligation. So with that said I simply pulled whatever tip it was and offered nothing instead. I think this set off the internal combustion of this guy and it got to the point where he asked ‘where are you staying’, in a thinly veiled threat. F*** you hombre!!

Best Accommodation

1 1. The Hard Rock Hotel – Hard Rock Megalopolis – Panama City (Panama) - The place is just cool and hell, it was a great place to stay, even though it was a fair amount more than our on a shoestring budget dictated

Hard Rock Hotel - Hard Rock Megalopolis - Panama City - Panama

Hard Rock Hotel - Hard Rock Megalopolis - Panama City - Panama

2  2. Random hospederia – Malecon – Havana (Cuba) - Looking out onto the Malecon, watching the sun dip down over Havana Bay whilst people made their way up and down the ocean front. How much more of a spectacular location could you ask for?

3  3 . El Sunzal El Tunco – El Tunco (El Salvador) - What an amazing location you get for the price. Fronting the Pacific, you are front and centre to the show that nature puts on every evening.

El Sunzal El Tunco - El Tunco - El Salvador

Random but still cool moments

Entrance to Tikal (Guatemala)

We had a difference of opinion with our tour operator when we reached Tikal. Effectively, without wanting to pay entry into the park twice, we had to stay at the entrance until such time that our day ticket, for the next day, would let us in. We spent 6hrs at the front gates, a space of time that we thought we brutalise us, but, with some imagination and ingenuity the time passed quickly and in fact, to me, it actually turned out to be a lot of fun.

The entrance to Tikal - Guatemala

6 hours, right here

The entrance to Tikal - Guatemala

Travel breakdown

Total number of flights

13

Total flying hours

49.15

Total distance flown

33,240kms

Total number of bus rides
19

Total distance covered by bus

4235kms

Average number of pupusas per day in El Salvador 
7.2

Total number of boats/ferries

6

And there we have it, the wrap of a tour that was quite surprising for what it offered. As a whole Central America was about what I expected, as a whole, but there were pockets that delivered so much more and that’s what made travelling through this part of the world so satisfying.

So where to now? Well our next escapade it going to be into the region where we’re scheduled to tie the knot on June 30^th (2017).

This trip is more about validating that our location wedding actually is the right location for us. Wish us luck!!

Boquete (Panama) - C'mon, just retire here

BOQUETE (PANAMA)
03 February - 04 February 2017

With about an 8hr bus trip out of Panama City to the Eastern frontier of the country we found ourselves wondering the back lot of the Terminales David (in the town of David), in the late afternoon. Somewhere along the line we'd decided to opt for the mountain village/town of Boquete before heading for the Pacific coastline and absorbing as much sunshine as the coast would allow.

Chicken bus baddies - somewhere near David - Panama

What we’d discovered about Boquete prior to our arrival, and about Panama generally, is that of recent times its become a popular destination for retirees. In fact, Panama has a range of policies that aim to entice the over 65’s to making their way here, especially US retirees. From providing a  20%-50% discount on air/bus & rail travel and an equivalent discount on concert tickets, restaurants, hospital bills, medical consultations and more, the desire to attract those in the latter stage of their lives is typified by a quote the Panamanian Minister for tourism, Ruben Blades,  who said, ‘People don’t come here to die. They come here to live’.  

Certainly when you consider the financials of the situation and the nature of the lifestyle, why wouldn’t you make the move? You can acquire beautiful lodgings quite cheaply, live comfortably on $20,000 USD per year, have good access to medical facilities. It all makes a reasonable amount of sense for those that have even a moderate level of moxy about them.

Then there’s the town of Boquete itself, a temperate highlands retreats surrounded by luscious rain forest filled mountains, coffee plantations, burbling streams, hummingbirds and dazzling flowers.

Boquete - Panama

Boquete - Panama

Boquete - Panama

Our arrival in Boquete however was painted with slight ignominy. Having been delayed somewhat out of David, the sun had already set by the time we’d arrived. Somehow we’d also booked accommodation was not exactly central to the town. Arriving at that early evening hour, i.e, equivalent to the bed time of most Tasmanians (close to 7:30pm), also meant that places offering dinner outside of appeared to be closed. Thankfully the place we were staying at, Creadora on Avenida 1a Este was just across the road from Morton’s Bakehouse (Panaderia). Don't worry if you don't know the name, there's nothing extraordinary about the place. Wandering up to the front door as we walked in we discovered an eight year old kid at the front counter who was promptly ready to turn us on our heels and march us straight back out the door we'd walked through, 'We're closed' was his terse response as we stood at the open door. That attitude stuck until his parents showed up. Thankfully his parents were much nicer than the little squirt and assisted us with our hunger pangs by conjuring up a fairly decent quesadilla on the fly. It was greatly appreciated we have to say. So here’s a shout out to Moreton’s Bakehouse in Alto Boquete. Thank you for making our evening so much nicer with your hospitality.

Boquete, set in a tranquil Caldera Valley, some 1000mtrs above sea level, sits smack bang in the middle of both of Panama’s coasts. The town itself edges on being almost a mountain style village in that there’s elements in the architecture that remind you of small mountain towns in Switzerland or Austria.

Boquete - Panama

Boquete - Panama

Boquete - Panama

Aside from those wishing to retire here there’s still plenty of activities for others that want to ‘do something’ on the hillside here. One of the main drawcards are the ziplining tours. An activity that had previously been monopolised by Costa Rica  but has now made its way into Panama with a large degree of success. We decided to go with the Panamanian option of ziplining mostly from a cost perspective as their Central American brothers just next door have been having a laugh at tourists expense for a while now.

We utilised Boquete Adventures Canopy Tours and were not at all disappointed by what we were provided. Located high in the hills to the north of the town, a pleasurable 15 min bus ride up into the rain forests brought us alongside a coffee plantation and to the main base/offices of the ziplining crew.

The surroundings were an absolute treat. So once the standard safety briefings were had we headed up into the trees and started our adventure.

Boquete - Panama

Boquete - Panama

Boquete - Panama

Boquete - Panama

Boquete - Panama

If you haven’t tried it before then I can definitely recommend it. Flying from platform to platform some 30-50mtrs above the ground at 60kms an hour, above and through the treetops, as free an easy as a bird. It’s truly exhilarating. Also, I’d have to say that measuring the level of safety against the previous occasion I did this in Laos, I am more than a little surprised that we walked out unscathed in Laos. Safety was not an overwhelming concern of that operation!

Post Ziplining we headed back into town for a spot of lunch and stumbled on a great locale known as Mikes Global Grill.  A nice, green and open space, sidling up to free flowing creek/river, they served, in my opinion, some of the best fish tacos I’ve ever had which was supported by some fabulous home made chilli sauce that held just the requisite amount of heat to bring a good tear to my eye.

Tranquil and relaxed, temperate and comfortable. I can see why Boquete would be an attractive option for those wanting to escape to the high cost of living in say the US or Australia and move here. In fact, in you look at the Worlds Best Places to Retire (2019 ed) https://internationalliving.com/the-best-places-to-retire/, you’ll see that Panama tops a list of quite respectable candidates. And it’s not  just about affordability but, as I said earlier, policies are tipped towards enticing retirees down their way, including such things as tax exemptions on foreign earned income, a vibrant cultural mix, fantastic weather and general facilities. There’s a lot to love about being down in Central America.

Panama City (Panama) - A hard left at the Hard Rock

PANAMA CITY (PANAMA)

02 February - 03 February 2017

Returning from the San Blas Islands we checked back into the Hard Rock Hotel Megalopolis in Panama City. Hardly the budget style accommodation that we’d pencilled in at the start of our adventure but really, neither of us were complaining.

Our evening was spent close to home, heading over to the Hard Rock Café for dinner and then rounding the night out with drinks at the Red Lion Multicentro. As I said in an earlier entry, this place is an amusing oddity, to quote some of the reviews written about it;

‘Over priced drinks. With no atmosphere. There is over five waitresses to one customer and none of them pay any attention to their customers. The waitresses are too busy fondling each other's breast to ever pay any attention. It's amazing how many beautiful women there are in the establishment and surrounding businesses but none of them are actually working’

‘Falta mayor atención a personas que no van pendiente de levantarse a alguna chica del bar’

‘ésimo lugar, se puede decir peor. teníamos a 4 babosos pendientes de las chicas que aburridas estaban charloteando, comimos mal, bebimos mal. 0mg! No volveré mas allí’

We had a few drinks here but considering we weren’t offering the girls any attention we also became the standard ‘afterthought’ in a place that obviously has a target clientele.

Finishing off  with a couple of drinks at the Hard Rock Hotel we turned in for the night in preparation for the next phase of our journey. The next day we’d be turning around and starting our northern run, the next stop being Boquete in Central Eastern Panama.